jonnicholsbooks

I'm calling it

2010-12-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

This blog is dead.
Long live Strange Horizons.

Please visit me there!

Film review--The Informant

2010-09-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

THE INFORMANT

starring Matt Damon, Scott Bakula, Joel McHale, Clancy Brown, Melanie Lynskey, Thomas F. Wilson, and Ben Affleck as The Beav

The FBI heads into a price-fixing investigation of an Illinois agricultural company called ADM. In doing so, they are completely reliant upon one man on the inside (Damon.) Unfortunately, this man begins to believe he is a real secret agent and the truth becomes difficult to discern from the lies.

This film was not at all as I expected. The description above is more or less the one that came to us on the Netflix envelope. To me, it suggests a rather benevolent, Walter Mitty-like main character. What you get instead is a true life story of mental illness. This is not to say that it results in a bad film. On the contrary, it is quite funny in places and Matt Damon's performance is capable and compelling as always. Yet I just could not shake the sense that the film was missing something. Just not sure what that "something" is. Still, it was good to see Biff (Wilson) from Back to the Future getting work.

RATING: AIOK (Aaeeeehhhh, It's OK)

NOTE: I am rather backlogged on reviews to write and I'm not getting the same enjoyment out of them as I used to. Therefore, I am uncertain as to how much longer I will continue them. Just giving you the heads up.

Film review--The Expendables

2010-08-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Lie, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Randy Couture, Charisma Carpenter, and Jean Claude Van-Damm as The Beav.

A team of mercenaries is hired by the mysterious "Mr. Church" (Willis) to travel to a Caribbean island and knock off a dictator. When two of the team members (Stallone and Statham) recon the locale, they meet the beautiful leader of the local resistance. The two are forced to escape, leaving the woman behind. Do they cut their losses or come back with the rest of the team and attempt a suicidal rescue mission?

This movie is exactly what it's supposed to be. And for what it is, it is very good.

That's about as succinctly as I can put it. Sly Stallone set out to gather the top action stars in movies today and direct one helluva kick ass action movie. And that is exactly what he did.

You will not find 3 dimensional characters here. In fact, you'll be lucky if they peak into the 2nd dimension. If you've seen action movies before, there won't be a whole lot of twists and turns. What reversals there are, I'm certain you'll see them coming. There is no subtext, no grand statement on the human condition. This is not Moliere.

This is a movie about a mercenary team full of guys with names like Christmas, Toll Road, Yin Yang, Gunner, and Hale Caeser. You'll see explosions, big guns, bad ass martial arts and bladework, no skimping on blood and gore, and a few hot chicks thrown in for good measure. If I have any real criticism, it is with the choppy, "I'm high on meth" style of camerawork brought about by the loathsome Michael Bay in "Transformers." The spectacle moves so fast that you can't tell what's going in a few of the action scenes. But it is nowhere near as pronounced here as it was in "Transformers."

This is why the summer movie season was manufactured all those years ago. This is porn for the action movie fan and I'm telling you, if you have even a drop of testosterone in your body, you will enjoy this.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Barnes and Noble changes strategy

2010-08-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

From the department of "headlines you could see coming a mile away," Barnes & Noble booksellers are looking at ways to increase digital sales. This comes in the wake of announcing that the company itself would be up for sale.
"But the threat that has the industry and some readers the most rattled is the growth of e-books. In the first five months of 2009, e-books made up 2.9 percent of trade book sales. In the same period in 2010, sales of e-books, which generally cost less than hardcover books, grew to 8.5 percent, according to the Association of American Publishers, spurred by sales of the Amazon Kindle and the new Apple iPad. "

Ah the digital revolution continues. New technology tends to scare people, but I truly do believe that this will be a tremendous boon for authors as it progresses. You can read the entire New York Times article here.

75 Most Memorable Moments in DC Comics History

2010-08-12T19:43:00.000-07:00

Comic Book Resources recently posted the winners in a vote for the 75 Most Memorable Moments In DC Comics History.

Here are a few of the highlights (let the arguing begin):

#58 The very first "bwah-ha-ha" in JLA

#57 Captain Marvel saves the day (kinda) in "Kingdom Come."

#44 Green Lantern's lesson on race relations

#41 Superman to Mongul: "Burn."

Numbers 36-1 are yet to be posted. Stay tuned.

Vanishing Point

2010-07-28T11:30:00.000-07:00

DC is about to release Time Masters: Vanishing Point by Dan Jurgens. Supposedly, this crossover will explain how time travel works in the DCU. I'll admit that Jurgens has never been a favorite of mine, even though we seem to have a similar philosophy when it comes to comics, but if anybody can help straighten out the mess that is time travel, I'm down for it.

On enhanced ebooks

2010-07-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

What are Enhanced Ebooks? Click here for a primer.

Contrary to what the author of that essay wrote, I don't think it's a big deal that enhanced ebooks aren't of solid quality or worth the higher price just yet. Ebooks are the future. And if ebooks are the future, then enhanced ebooks are the future of the future.
Imagine taking a text that you enjoy and augmenting it with interactive features, links for background information, and an endless amount of other possibilities.
As always, there will be a fair amount of technophobia from the Luddites towards this new media.
It will take time, but these writers will either come around or die out like dinosaurs. For the life of me I don't understand taking the latter choice. Technology in the hands of a creative artist is something to be embraced, not feared.

And this bit today from The New York Times.

Infinity Gauntlet to be in "Thor" movie

2010-07-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, Marvel had a whole mess of props on display from its upcoming film release, Thor. Among these were Thor's hammer (natch), Odin's throne, Loki's helmet, and a shiny golden armored glove that didn't get much attention from the G4 crew.
It is of course the Infinity Gauntlet, the glove that when fully-loaded with power gems, grants the wearer control over the universe. It was the source of three separate summertime miniseries events at Marvel during the early 1990s, each with mixed success in terms of quality.

So who will be the wearer of the Infinity Gauntlet in the movie? Does this imply an eventual appearance from Thanos? As usual, we must wait and see.

Comic-Con Trailer for "Batman: Under the Red Hood"

2010-07-26T12:29:00.000-07:00

Film Review--Max Payne

2010-07-26T12:27:00.001-07:00

MAX PAYNE
starring Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris, Mila Kunis, Chris O'Donnell, Beau Bridges, Donal Logue, and Jude Law as The Beav.

An NYPD cop named Max Payne (Wahlberg) comes home to find his wife and baby murdered. He gets himself transferred to the Cold Case unit, so that he can continue the investigation into their deaths. For years he's a lone wolf, a cop on the edge, until one day women are ending up dead. One of the women was last seen alive by Max and her heavily-armed sister (Kunis) shows up looking for answers. Things eventually lead to a pharmaceutical company, experimental drugs, and criminals who killed Max's family.

Oh for fuck's sake, when will I learn? Films based on video games seldom turn out well and this awful stenchpod is no exception. Don't bother looking for structure here, or a strong character arc that holds all the action scenes together. Don't strain yourself searching for a character you actually feel anything for, even when he finds his family dead. Don't do it because it just isn't there. This whole mess is a true embarrassment to both Marky Mark AND the Funky Bunch.
This was leaps and bounds better when it was called "The Crow."

RATING: MWTS? Man, What's That Stench?

Film Review--A Scanner Darkly

2010-07-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

A SCANNER DARKLY
starring Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., Winona Ryder, Woody Harrelson, Rory Cochrane, and George Takei as The Beav.

In the near future, an undercover cop (Reeves) gets involved with a bunch of small-time users and distributors of a drug called Substance D. His own mental state begins to border on schizophrenia as roles and lines become blurred, sending him in for a series of psychological tests.

There have been many adaptations of author Philip K. Dick's work. Some have been well done (Blade Runner), others have sucked in ways things have not sucked before nor should ever be allowed to again (Screamers). I'm happy to say that this one falls somewhere in between those two polar extremes. It's a strong story with A-list actors told in an innovative, "augmented reality" sort of combination between live action and animation. This format could be headache-inducing among a few viewers, but it didn't bother me. Then again, I saw it on a small screen and the theatrical experience may have differed from my own.
Most satisfying are the moments were these "potheads," for lack of a better word, get themselves into predicaments and work furiously to get themselves out, often with humorous results. In fact, I'm wondering if Robert Downey Jr. modeled his character after Daffy Duck. Just something about his short haircut, omnipresent round shades, and the bill of his cap popped up. If so, I applaud him for taking after a comedic genius, yes I say that with all sincerity.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Cap has got a gun

2010-07-21T12:03:00.000-07:00

That's the teaser poster that Marvel is handing out at San Diego Comic Con, depicting the Captain America design for the 2011 movie. You will of course note the gun in his right hand.
While I'm certainly not prudish when it comes to the use of firearms, Cap's never needed one. Even his Ultimates reboot didn't carry one and he would have been a likely candidate. When you're the perfect human fighting machine and you carry an indestructible shield that doubles as a weapon, what good is a gun? Time will tell.
Also, here's the Thor poster:

For more information, see this Yahoo article (source for the pics BTW.)

San Diego Comic Con

2010-07-20T14:12:00.001-07:00

I mean no disrespect to our Muslim brothers and sisters, but for me...San Diego has become Mecca.

One year, I simply must make a pilgrimage, my own geeky hadj, to the San Diego Comic Con. What was once a mere comic book convention has become a summertime epicenter of all things pop culture. There truly is something for everyone and as Malcolm X found during his Mecca experience, many disparate groupings of people all seem to get along. Alan Kistler at Newsarama had this breakdown of just who you can expect to encounter at SDCC:

"Cosplayers: Short for “costume players,” these highly visible con-goers have spent a considerable portion of the last year planning and constructing a look that perfectly emulates a character they love. Some will spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on their costumes and props, making an Iron Man suit with moving parts or a full-blown Predator costume.

And yes, you can always count on dozens of brave women of all walks of life (and shapes) hitting the convention floor in Princess Leia slave-girl bikinis.

Faux Cosplayers: These guys put on a Captain America T-shirt and blue jeans and call it a day. They will uses scotch tape to attach three knitting needles to a glove and claim it’s a Wolverine costume. Their overt laziness often brings disdain from true cosplayers.

LARPers (Live Action Role-Players): Cosplayers taken up a notch. These folks not only wear their elaborate costumes, they play the role they’ve chosen, refusing to break character even more a minute, offering amusement to some of their fellow con-goers and testing the patience of others.

Steampunks: Not impressed by warp drive or androids, these geeks prefer a world of Victorian-era tech, where Jules Verne or H.G. Wells could build time machines and automatons out of steam engines with brass levers. A similar sub-group that prefers clockwork and gears is called “clockpunk.”

Not-Quite Japanese: Die-hard fans of anime and manga (Japanese cartoons and comics), these people have fully embraced Japan’s pop culture, mimicking the dress style and learning the language.

Trivia Elitists: These are the geeks who take pride in knowing why a Jefferies tube on the original “Star Trek” is named as such and can catalog every known type of Kryptonite and its effect on Superman. Known for sometimes showing impatience towards fellow fans without their encyclopedic – or is that Wikipedic (?) – knowledge.

Old School Purists: For these fans, the originals are always the best. The new “Star Trek” movie ruined the franchise and they refuse to acknowledge the re-imagined “Battlestar Galactica.”

Neo-Purists: The natural enemy of the old school purists, these fans won’t acknowledge anything that existed before their generation. The new “Star Trek” movie is the only Trek film worth watching and the original Battlestar Galactica is a campy relic of the late '70s.

Gamers: These folks are not as excited about the reading material and movie screenings as they are about the games. Whether its new expansion sets of card-based role-playing games or a preview for a new video game, they are ready and willing to eat it up and play against other geeks of similar interests.

Fringers: These attendees are only interested in Comic-Con’s more mainstream offerings. They’ll attend the movie clip screenings, listen to the “Twilight” panels or get autographs signed by the casts of “Castle” and “Glee,” but have little interest in anything more geek-oriented

Friends of Geeks: They’re dating a fan or have a friend who insisted on brining them along. Some of these people get bored very quickly, while others come to appreciate the spectacle going on around them.

Geeks-in-Training: They only got into comic books or geeky shows in the past year, but their friends are quickly turning them into true fanboys and fangirls. Comic-Con is a baptism of fire for them and if they haven’t been properly prepared, the experience can be a little overwhelming.

Social Geeks: Despite perception, probably the majority of the geek community are actually just laid-back people who simply love what they love. Yes, they can tell you the history of Krypton or recite the oath of the Green Lantern Corps, but they can also discuss music, films, sitcoms and politics. They go to Comic-Con for fun and socializing and they don’t look down on people who don’t happen to share their love and knowledge of sci-fi and fantasy."

Superman: Grounded

2010-06-29T14:49:00.000-07:00

Comics writer and sci-fi ubergod, J. Michael Straczynski has a new project headed down the pike from DC Comics.
It's called Superman: Grounded. In it, Superman chooses to walk across the United States. He is not powerless, the mode of transportation is of his own volition in order to get more in tune with the peoples and towns of the highways and by-ways of America. Plus, there's a marketing tie-in that could get Superman to visit your hometown. All you have to do is write a winning essay. Cool, huh kids?
The cynic in me has disdain for such blatant marketing, not to mention the hokey Norman Rockwell aspect. But it could open new ground to give further depth to a character that's been around for decades.

Here's JMS himself on Newsarama, talking about it.

Writers over 40

2010-06-25T08:56:00.000-07:00

Just recently, The New Yorker published a hot list of "Writers Under 20" who are going to be read by "our grandchildren and their grandchildren." That's a rather optimistic view of the continuation of reading, but whatever.

Now I'm going to be cryptic. I found this New York Times article today and it resonated with me for reasons that can probably be easily inferred but I'm still not going to state them. It offers a soupcon of hope for the geezer set, listing authors who really did not come into their own until well after the age of 40, writers such as Conrad and James. Then of course there's the plethora of authors who did their best stuff in their 20s so where does that leave us?

You know what, I'm glad I did not get published in my 20s. I really wasn't that good then and I didn't know how to take the craft of writing seriously. I believe that many of the "under 20's" knew themselves rather well, far better than I did. They knew they wanted to write and have that be a focal point of there lives, then set about to seriously study the craft and practiced it. In my 20s, I was still coming to realize that I was a writer and it took a while. I wish all that time had not gone by, but there is nothing I can do about it except perhaps draw from my experiences during that era.
Indeed, there may be hope for the writer over 40. But then there's still that pesky matter of people ever reading anything.

Film Review--Whiteout

2010-06-23T20:55:00.000-07:00

WHITEOUT
starring Kate Beckinsale, Tom Skerritt, Gabriel Macht, and Admiral Byrd as "The Beav"

She is just three days from the end of her tour of duty, but a U.S. Marshall (Beckinsale) is stuck in Antarctica when the first ever murder on that continent is discovered. But there's a big storm coming in and there's the added angle of a downed Soviet plane with a treasure on board. Can she get by with an old doctor (Skerritt), a strange UN official (Macht), and a token pilot in order to find the killer?

I like thrillers. I really do. But I'm going to need to take a break from them after this one. That's not to say that this is a bad film, it's just such a by-the-numbers, blase and formulaic story that I'm a bit turned off by the genre. Must every thriller feature a "cop on the edge, haunted by their past?" Must every thriller isolate their characters in a locale and make it impossible for them to get out of? Must every thriller have a "twist?" Let me tell you something, the twists are woefully easy to spot these days. Just imagine the last thing you'd expect and whoomp...there it is. I'm yawning even as I type this. I don't think it possible for me to be any more bored by the conventions of this genre. The only reason "Whiteout" escapes my lowest rating is that they get Kate Beckinsale naked (though not enough is shown to get it an "R") in the first 15 minutes. Yep you know it's lackluster when you need a shower scene in Antarctica. Not that I'm complaining. Kate's on my Top 10 list.
Sigh. Greg Rucka's a good writer. This could have and should have been better.

RATING: AIOK (Aaaeeehhh, It's OK)

Film Review--The A-Team

2010-06-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

THE A-TEAM
starring Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Jessica Biel, Quintin "Rampage" Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Patrick Wilson, Gerald McCraney, and Melinda Cullea as "The Beav"

After a double-cross in Iraq, a crack commando unit is sentenced to prison for a crime they didn't commit. Team leader, John "Hannibal" Smith (Neeson) is later visited by a CIA spook named Lynch (Wilson) who claims to know details of how they were framed. Hannibal promptly effects escape for the rest of The A-Team, who then go after the villainous mastermind of the plot, all while being hounded by a military intelligence officer (Biel).

If you're looking for an adaptation of Moliere, this is not your film. If you want splodey action plus bonhomme character relations, then might I suggest The A-Team. Both the cast and the creators of this film were smart. They knew they could not hope to duplicate the TV series made famous by S.J. Cannell. The most they could aspire to would be to keep the spirit and to get their own spin on it. And ladies and gentlemen, it works. In a couple ways, it actually improves on the series.
For one thing, I could never buy the original A-Team as four guys who were ex-special forces. In the film version, I have no trouble with that. The A-Team are guys you just would not want to mess with.
This is just entertainment through and through. There are improbable conundrums and moments of MacGyver ingenuity. There are exploded vehicles and beautiful women who are viewed with clothes still on. More than anything, there are still the same four characters we grew attached to, they're just updated for the times. And for that 2 hours, they are good times. Enjoy!

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Spencer and Alexandra

2010-06-17T13:21:00.001-07:00

Are are the first few pages of the film script that I won Runner-Up for in the Writers Digest "Best Screenplay" competition.

FADE IN

EXT. TRUCK STOP, NIGHT

Row upon row of semi trucks is all that is seen in this opening shot, most of them with their ass ends towards the viewer. You can almost smell the diesel fumes. One of the rigs pulls out and drives through the shot.

The lights are bright on the truck stop itself, the building that houses the diner. The drivers of these land behemoths hop out of their truck cabs and greet each other. You never saw so much flannel in your life. All of them head for an oasis behind the trucks, that aforementioned glow of the lights. The “interzone” for all of these travelers, a redneck Casablanca just past the final row of fuel pumps.

SLOW ZOOM TO—the diner.

CUT TO—

INT. DINER

CLOSE SHOT—a match lighting.

SPENCER FEATHERLAND is smoking a cigarette. SPENCER is a man in his 30s, lean to average build and he looks slightly “worn,” but still has boyish and very “pretty” features.

He is seated at the diner counter with his buddy, MITCHELL GAINS next to him. MITCHELL is larger than his compatriot and is a bit older. He has dark hair, glasses, and a goatee. He is finishing a steak while Spencer smokes over what is left of his plate of country ham and biscuits. Spencer is reading Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham. Both men glance at each other, say nothing then go back to what they were doing.

A portly WAITRESS pops into the shot from the other side of the diner counter with a coffee pot in hand.

Mitchell pushes his cup in front of her as if to say “yes.” He nods his head as if to say “thank you.” The waitress fills both of their cups. As she pours coffee for Spencer, she notices that he’s reading.

WAITRESS

What you readin’ that fer?

Looking up at her from his book, Spencer’s face is blank, seeming mildly annoyed.

SPENCER

What do you mean?

WAITRESS

Pretty high brow. You a college boy?

SPENCER

No.

WAITRESS

Oh I gets it. Yer just too good for Tee-Vee.

She walks over to the TV mounted high on the wall and turns it on. After turning the TV’s dial (and it does have a dial just like a set from circa 1978 would have), she puts the channel on a WWF match as a “fuck you.” She then walks back to the kitchen.

MITCHELL

There went her tip.

His friend shrugs and just goes back to reading.

MITCHELL

(yelling after her)

And bring us back some pie! (beat) Strawberry!

On the other side of the diner’s glass windows, a semi truck rig with a red cab pulls into the lot.

MITCHELL

Is that him?

Spencer shuts his book and tosses a $20 onto the counter before standing up.

SPENCER

Yup.

Mitchell stands up also and then straightens his belt around his fat belly.

MITCHELL

Alright. Time to make the fuckin’ donuts.

CUT TO—

EXT. TRUCK STOP, NIGHT

WIDE ANGLE—our two cowboys come walking out the front of the diner and head straight forward, never taking their eyes off of the newly arrived truck.

Climbing out of the cab of the truck is its driver, a man in his 40s. As his feet hit the ground, he shuts the door and starts to walk towards the diner when he hears...

SPENCER (OS)

Hey...

The driver turns as Spencer and Mitchell walk into the shot. Spencer punches the driver across the jaw and knocks him out cold. As the driver hits the ground, Mitchell ties the man’s hands behind his back.

With the driver subdued and dragged to the back of the trailer, our two then begin the task of opening the back of the truck.

MITCHELL

This guy weighs a fucking ton.

Spencer begins undoing the lock on the back doors of the trailer.

SPENCER

These guys eat truck stop food every meal

and then spend all day sitting. Damn!

Thing won’t open...

MITCHELL

Let me see.

Mitchell hops up on the back of the truck and begins to work the lock. Judging by the JINGLING and METALLIC CLANGING that the lock is emitting, he’s having about as much success as Spencer did.

MITCHELL

Well goddamn, what the fuck?

SPENCER

Always looked simple back at the shop, didn’t it?

MITCHELL

You mean you’ve never opened one of these before?

SPENCER

Thought you had.

MITCHELL

How did we ever get jobs working for a trucking company?

SPENCER

We only work for it on paper.

All the while, Spencer grunts and struggles still with the mechanism.

SPENCER

Shit! All I’m doing is stripping the fucking thing.

MITCHELL

This cannot be that tough! I refuse to accept that there is no way to open this.

Spencer hops down and walks away, over to where the driver is lying on the ground unconscious. Mitchell keeps working with the lock.

MITCHELL

So what’s the tensile strength of steel, anyway? Come on, Spence. You’re a smart

geek. You should know this.

While Mitchell continues to struggle with the lock, Spencer just looks deeply concentrated as he stares at the driver.

SPENCER

I don’t know.

MITCHELL

What do you mean, “I don’t know?” You know all that shit about atomic

weight, the Peloponnesian Wars, the capitol of Mongolia, which I still do not

acknowledge as a real country, thank you. But you can’t open the door on a rig?

Spencer’S POV—the driver, unconscious.

MITCHELL (OS)

Something got real fucked up with you somewheres, Spence.

BACK TO—Spencer, he now appears quite concerned.

SPENCER

This ain’t him, Mitch.

MITCHELL

Huh?

SPENCER

It ain’t him.

MITCHELL

What do you mean, it ain’t him?

SPENCER

It’s not our guy. I thought it was, but...

After considering what he has just heard, Mitchell runs around to the side of the rig and looks at it. He jumps back, having a moment of recognition.

MITCHELL

Shit. This ain’t even a Strickland truck.

He looks at Spencer.

SPENCER

We got the wrong guy.

CUT TO—

INT. TRUCK CAB—our two heroes have now untied the unconscious truck driver and are struggling to put him back behind the wheel of his truck.

SPENCER

(to the driver)

Sorry.

MITCHELL

Yeah, we’re real sorry.

SPENCER

Very, very sorry.

MITCHELL

You see, we thought you was someone else and then things got all fouled up because

Spence is kind of a ‘tard, ain’t ya, Spence?

SPENCER

Fuck you, Mitch.

MITCHELL

You’d swear he was right off the short bus sometimes. Book smart. Life dumb.

Ain’t that right, Spence?

SPENCER

Fuck you, Mitch.

MITCHELL

Anyways, maybe you can make up the lost time on your route. Low traffic, a tailwind,

I don’t know. Here’s to hoping. In fact, I tell you what.

Mitchell pulls a wad of money from his pocket and places it in the driver’s hand.

MITCHELL

Here. Have dinner on us. But don’t sit at the counter ‘cause the waitress is kinda a

bitch. Don’t ask me why. Happy trails.

He pats the driver and then hops down out of the cab.

CUT TO—

EXT. TRUCK PARKING LOT, NIGHT

Both Mitchell and Spencer are now skulking between the parked big rigs. In the distance, over the RUNNING ENGINES of the trucks, they hear VOICES.

Spencer, motions to Mitchell, telling him to get flat up against the side of the truck. They are approaching a congregation of truck drivers who are listening to one of their own tell a joke.

Spencer’S POV—the circle of drivers, centered around a guy named CARL. Carl is in his late 30’s, has a mullet, a moustache, a cap on his head (the kind with the mesh in the back), and wears a dirty t-shirt that reads “BIG ROCK HEAVY MACHINERY CO.”

CARL

Two firemen are buttfuckin’ in a smoke-filled room.

All of the drivers simply explode with laughter. This is the kind of enlightened demographic that we are dealing with.

CLOSE SHOT—Spencer, eyes darting about, sizing up the situation.

CARL (OS)

Naw, true story, man.

Spencer’S POV—the truck parked between the laughing crowd and his position bears the name “Strickland” upon it in green, sweeping letters.

CARL (OS)

And the fire chief, he come runnin’ up the stairs...

ANGLE ON—Carl, playing the bard of the truck stop.

CARL

And sees them two fags...

BACK TO ANGLE—Spencer waves Mitchell to follow him to the truck. The pair begin to sneak over to it.

CARL (OS)

Up there in the room, bumpin’ away.

ANGLE ON—Carl, still playing court jester to these kings of the road.

CARL

And he says to ‘em, “What the hell do you think you’re doin’?”

SHOT OF—Spencer and Mitchell, climbing into the cab of the Strickland truck.

CARL (OS)

And the one silly who’s doin’ the pumpin’ says, “E’s got smoke inhilation[sic]!”

The boys have unlocked the doors of the trailer (easily this time as they have the proper key) and enter it. They begin to tear through the boxes and the cartons.

CARL (OS)

Chief says, “well why the fuck don’t you just give ‘eem mouth-to-mouth?”

TIGHT ANGLE—Mitchell, finds a duffle bag stuffed between boxes in the trailer. He unzips it.

CARL (OS)

An’ the fudgie on the bottom kinda looks up at ‘eem and says...

ANGLE ON—Carl, grinning a gap-toothed grin.

CARL

“How do you think this shit got started?”

The truckers all erupt in raucous laughter.

BACK TO—INT. TRAILER. Our guys are looking at some kind of substance in the duffle bag. The muffled LAUGHTER continues outside.

MITCHELL

This look like the animal to you?

SPENCER

Let’s find out.

He removes a plastic bottle of water from his jacket pocket.

WIDE ANGLE—the truckers circled around Carl. Everyone is enjoying the night. Some are drinking, some are smoking, others still are spitting tobacco.

CARL

Firemen, boy. Fuckin’ queer firemen.

Think about it.

CLOSE SHOT—Spencer takes the container with the substance out of the bag. He pours water from the bottle onto the stuff and shakes it up.

OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT—Carl from the trucker’s perspective. He’s laughing and pointing at one of the drivers.

CARL

I know you’s thinkin’ about it, Ed! I know you is!

CLOSE SHOT—the water bottle. The water is fizzing and bubbling like Alka-Seltzer.

SPENCER

That’s GHB.

He looks over at Mitchell as Mitchell goes through the bag.

MITCHELL

Looks like it’s all here. Joy boy ain’t sold it yet.

SPENCER

Well, let’s do this.

Being tugged away by Spencer, Mitchell follows him past the stacks of freight and out the door, taking the duffle bag with him.

CUT TO—

Carl is walking away from his cronies that were involved in the intellectual conversation. One of the truckers calls out, “you takin’ off, Carl?”

CARL

Yeah. Gotta go make money. Hey Ed?

That fucking aspirin ain’t gonna do shit for that toothache of yours and you know

it. This is your last chance ‘fore I light out. You want what I got or not?

CARL’S POV—Ed waves him off negatively.

BACK TO ANGLE

CARL

Suit yourself.

He turns around and places a toothpick in his mouth.

CARL

(barely audible)

Dumbass son of a bitch.

Carl walks over to the cab of his truck while looking down at his hands, fumbling with the keys. He then happens to stop and look up from what he’s doing.

CARL’S POV—Spencer and Mitchell, standing right in front of him. Mitchell is still holding the duffle bag.

MITCHELL

Hey, Carl.

BACK TO ANGLE

CARL

What the fuck do you want?

SPENCER

Morty sent us.

An uneasy smile spreads across Carl’s face as he laughs a frightened laugh. As he is about to say something, Spencer punches him in the gut and then across the jaw.

Carl slumps to the ground, unconscious.

MITCHELL

Alright alright. All in a day’s work.

That said, Spencer bends down to sling Carl onto his shoulder. Struggling with this act, Spencer realizes that he’s getting no help from his friend and looks at him expectantly.

MITCHELL

I’m already carrying the bag, my friend.

Spencer sighs and then starts walking, half dragging Carl.

SPENCER

Fine, fine, fucking fine.

Mitchell goes after the huffy Spencer.

MITCHELL

What?! I am carrying the bag!

SPENCER

Oh yes you are.

MITCHELL

What?

SPENCER

Huh?

MITCHELL

What?

They continue to walk, weaving between parked trucks.

MITCHELL

Why are you getting all pissy with me?

SPENCER

It’s nothing. I’m fine.

MITCHELL

I swear, Spence. You’re as bad as a woman sometimes. Will you just...here!

He drops the bag down.

MITCHELL

I’ll carry the goddamn guy for you. You get the fucking bag.

SPENCER

Mitch! It’s fine. Just let me...

They begin to have a tug-of-war with the unconscious Carl.

MITCHELL

I don’t want to listen to you bitching all the way back to the car! Take the damn bag!

SPENCER

No, I can carry him. Just...

MITCHELL

What is it, Spence? Do you find him attractive? Is that it?

Neither of them realizes that this struggle over Carl is beginning to attract unwanted attention.

From the dispersing crowd of truckers, ED hears the noise and looks towards the source of it. Squinting his eyes, he sees...

HIS POV—Spencer and Mitchell, each trying to keep Carl from the other, yanking him back and forth.

BACK TO ANGLE

Hey! They got Carl! Let’s get ‘em!

Both Spencer and Mitchell stop their feud long enough to see the oncoming rush of truck drivers.

MITCHELL

(whiney)

Oh fuck me...

He drops Carl and both men steady themselves to fight.

And fight they do. A melee of brawling and fisticuffs ensues. Punch after punch, throw after throw, the fight rages on.

CUT TO—

INT. CAR

Riding at night are Mitchell and Spencer. Spencer is driving. He has cuts on his face and a bloody tissue stuck up his nose. Mitchell has a swollen cheek and is wincing as he holds a bag of ice to it.

MITCHELL

I’m gonna need more ice.

There’s no reply to Mitchell’s statement as Spencer just keeps driving, looking straight ahead. The silence continues for a few more beats as the car moves along.

MITCHELL

Do you believe in God, Spence?

As he drives, Spencer thinks about this. He then places a cigarette in his mouth, one that is noticeably hand-rolled.

SPENCER

I’d like to.

More silence as they drive into the night.

MITCHELL

Yeah well, no one’s been able to give me a good argument for it yet.

Steering with his left hand, Spencer lights his cigarette with a Zippo lighter in his right hand.

SPENCER

Why all this religious talk?

MITCHELL

Dunno. We passed a church a piece back.

Had one of those signs out front. You know...the ones they put all the dopey

messages on? This one said, “Lava soap doesn’t work on sin.” Now what the fuck

is that supposed to mean? I mean, are they that bored that they just sit around all day

and think up this shit? And that’s the best that they can come up with? “Lava soap

doesn’t work on sin?” Come on.

Spencer doesn’t reply. He just keeps driving.

MITCHELL

You think we got sin on us, Spence?

SPENCER

We beat up a guy, duct taped his hands and mouth and then tossed him into the

trunk. We’re sending him to Morty who’s probably going to kill him. Yeah. I’d say

we got sin on us.

MITCHELL

Yeah, but Carl’s a piece of shit, Spence.

All he’s doing is sucking oxygen away from the rest of us.

SPENCER

My understanding is that it doesn’t matter. Sooner or later, everything we do catches

up with us.

MITCHELL

Hell I already done my time in the joint for armed robbery and 2 years managing a Make Out Creek: Lingery Booty-Q...

SPENCER

Lingerie boutique.

MITCHELL

So how’m I supposed to get rid of sin if “Lava Soap doesn’t work?”

SPENCER

Could pray the Rosary.

MITCHELL

Huh?

SPENCER

The Rosary.

MITCHELL

Whazzat?

SPENCER

You’re a heathen.

MITCHELL

You talking about that necklace thingy?

SPENCER

Fuck, man...

MITCHELL

‘Cause if you are...

SPENCER

Yes, but it’s not a necklace...

MITCHELL

...then I think I know what you’re talking about.

BEAT.

MITCHELLL

So what do I do with it?

SPENCER

Pray.

MITCHELL

Pray with the necklace?

SPENCER

Each bead is a prayer you say. Ten Hail Mary’s book-ended by Our Father’s.

MITCHELL

Yeah?

SPENCER

Five sets of ‘em.

MITCHELL

And you just...

SPENCER

Just keep saying them until the beads run out.

MITCHELL

The exact same prayers?

SPENCER

One after the other, like a chant.

MITCHELL

Over and over?

SPENCER

Pretty much.

MITCHELL

Huh.

BEAT

MITCHELL

That don’t make a lick ‘a sense.

SPENCER

You’re not Catholic.

MITCHELL

What the fuck, man? How could God accept that as an apology?

SPENCER

Could be just like sugar pills, I don’t know.

MITCHELL

You just keep saying...fuck! Might as wellset out a hot bowl of soup for Him.

Do the same thing. What the fuck is this world coming to, Spence?

SPENCER

Falling to pieces and nobody’s picking it up...least of all us.

MITCHELL

Right. (beat) Here’s what I believe in:

There are 3 gods and they were all born in an acorn.

For the first time in this scene, Spencer glances over at him, wondering what the hell Mitchell is talking about.

MITCHELL

Yeah, there’s Gary, Steve, and Barbara.

See Gary...Gary’s the god of stuff.

SPENCER

Stuff?

MITCHELL

Stuff.

BEAT.

MITCHELL

Everyday stuff, like this car, this ice bag, marshmallow fluff, everything. The day

to day things. And Steve, he’s the god of being a man.

SPENCER

So, if you’re a woman you’re fucked when it comes to Steve?

MITCHELL

I’m getting to that. Keep your skirt on.

Steve’s the guy who gives you balls when you need them. Say, say you just dropped something really heavy on your foot or you twisted your ankle. It hurts so bad that you’re six years old again and all you want to do is cry. You pray to Steve and he gives you the strength to cowboy

up and just grunt, “nah, nah, I’m fine.”

SPENCER

Right.

MITCHELL

Then there’s Barbara. Now she’s a goddess, so I figure she’s going to handle everything else.

SPENCER

Everything?

MITCHELL

Yeah, everything. Keep up.

SPENCER

How come she gets that huge load on her shoulders?

MITCHELL

She’s a woman. She’s got all that shit in her fucking purse. And none of these gods

believe in sin, especially not that Catholic bullshit that you’re born with it.

SPENCER

Must be convenient.

MITCHELL

You saying you actually believe in original sin?

SPENCER

Yeah. That way at least I have something that I never had to steal or had to win.

MITCHELL

Well, I’m telling you, my way’s better.

And it’s no less reasonable than any other religion.

SPENCER

Mitch, I’ve had guns pointed at me. I’ve had people try to kill me. But I ain’t ever

been so scared as when I stop to think that I have no idea why I’m here or what my

place in the world is. So I guess I just ask a few more questions than what your

dogma’s able to answer.

BEAT

MITCHELL

Sometimes I think that it must suck to be you, Spence.

SPENCER

Yeah.

Writer of "Thundercats" missing

2010-05-23T13:57:00.000-07:00

His roommates are in custody and a severed arm was found nearby. Yikes.

Here's the full story as it stands.

Via Dreamer

New Blog!

2010-05-13T13:05:00.000-07:00

I have a new blog called Strange Horizons.

I will still post on this one from time to time, mainly on topics such as books, the craft of writing, the humanities, and of course movie reviews.
But Strange Horizons will be updated daily. What's it about? You'll have to head over and see.

RIP Frank Frazetta

2010-05-10T14:02:00.001-07:00

You can get the obit at Newsarama.
Hard to deny his influence.

AN ANNOUNCEMENT

2010-04-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

I despise repeating bad news as the result of multiple although well-intended queries, so I'm just going to do it all at once. Here goes.

I am no longer being considered for admission to any of the 6 PhD programs that I applied to. The only solace I can take is that I don't know what I could have done differently. My GPA at DePaul was 3.8, I got into the 95th percentile on the verbal section of the GRE, and two out of my three letters of recommendation came from heads of departments. As they say in the NFL, "I left it all out on the field."
Upon hearing this, the next question most people ask is "so what will you do now?"

I have no f-ing clue. Sorry for the profanity, but I'm mopey, grumpy, and many other kinds of dwarves right now. This is a new experience for me, to completely bust my ass at something and spend close to $1,000 on it and only to come up empty. I know I'm not alone, I can probably ask John McCain and Al Gore about the same thing. I spent the majority of the past decade working towards this and now it's gone.
Apply to other programs you might say? It's not like applying for a job or even applying to college. It takes weeks to prepare just one application, writing specific essays required by each school. It also costs anywhere between $50-100 to apply. Not sure I can keep doing it.
Get a job in the business world? I don't belong there. Period. Plus, my resume is really rather pitiful, being almost 40 years old and still at the same entry-level job I started 16 years ago. Not exactly a corporate mover and shaker. Other suggestions have come from people, suggestions that range from the optimistically sublime ("maybe you'll still become a famous author") to the woefully ridiculous ("ever thought of the Coast Guard?") No, I'm not happy. But I blame no one for it. No, this is all on me and my own shortcomings.
On that note, I really do wish to thank all my wonderful family and friends who supported me 100% throughout this entire effort. Sorry I came up short, but I wouldn't have even made it past the first step without you!

Film Review--Blindness

2010-03-23T10:06:00.000-07:00

BLINDNESS
starring Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Danny Glover, Gael Garcia Bernal, Sandra Oh, and Wicket W. Warrick as The Beav

People all over are going blind. Except for a Doctor's Wife (Moore) who for reasons unknown can still see. She keeps her healthy eyesight a secret as those struck with blindness are herded into a dilapidated mental asylum and quarantined. Once inside, the woman with the healthy vision becomes leader and guardian of the people.

So what we've got here is a two hour showcase of the old Hobbes v. Locke debate. For those that did not take Core 2 at St. Joe, I'll catch you up. Hobbes and Locke were philosophers with opposing viewpoints on the nature of man. One school of thought goes that if man is returned to a state of nature, he and she will devolve to the most primal and savage means of survival available. The opposition states that humans will eventually rise up from the state of nature, leaders will come forward, and a new structure will be formed so that society may begin again.
The director melds the two theories into one...and it is gruesome and unrelenting to watch. The blind do become savages and we witness man's inhumanity to man over and over again, including a rape sequence that goes on for like 10-15 minutes. This vision is so bleak that it actually made me pray that when the apocalypse comes, that my family and me will be wiped out at the beginning and not have to suffer the horrific aftermath. What's more, the plot meanders too much, like it can't ever decide what it wants to be. Ugh. Two hours of self-important pain porn.
So yeah, it's a real knee slapper. The only real positive part about it is the performance of Mark Ruffalo. I think he's going to be a rising star and we'll soon see his name on the Oscar ballot.
But not for "Blindness."

RATING: MWTS (Man, What's That Stench?)

2010-03-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

David Morrell to visit Chicago

The author of "First Blood" and creator of the character of Rambo will be in Chicago for Columbia College's Story Week.
I just love the guy's dedication to promoting thriller books as a legitimate form of literature.

2010-03-09T09:54:00.000-08:00

20 Year Anniversary of the raid on Steve Jackson Games

I'm late on this one as the date was March 3rd, but I still feel it's an important story; not just for geeks but for anybody who considers themselves a socially aware American.

Via Dreamer

Depressed in the Depression: Olympic Memories

2010-02-26T12:51:00.000-08:00

I dig the Winter Olympics. Big time. Most Americans would probably ask me why. After all, the sports are a bit more "high concept" than say, football or baseball. During the time of the Salt Lake City games, I rode around in the pine tree-scented car of our real estate agent looking for houses. On the subject of the Olympics, our realtor protested, "To me, a sport must involve an offense and a defense." True enough, most of the Winter Games events hold little of either. These are sports that require one to ski a little and then shoot a little, ski off of a tower and down a ramp, or slide down a track of ice in a streamlined metal tube or even on your back on a sled. Exotic tastes to the American palate to say the least. While I truly love the competitive and athletic nature of the Winter Games, the real source of my addiction stems from my own clinical depression. To explain this, I have to go all the way back to February of 1988.
I was 17. I was in high school. I was miserable. I banged my head against the wall to succeed in classes I had no business being in and then failed at anyway. I was insulted on a daily basis by my peers. Saying that I was sad, angry, and despondent would be like calling Tiger Woods a mischievous scamp. Then in mid-February, just as things were looking really bleak, the Winter Olympics of Calgary commenced. I watched the Opening Ceremonies on a lark, sitting on the couch on a Saturday afternoon. While not exactly enraptured at first, the Games soon drew me in. I began to see distinctive and interesting characters arise from the snowy caps of Canada. This caused the Olympics to seem more like a narrative to me, a vast TV drama of forces that were opposed to one another and yet in harmony, all unscripted and with nobody's outcome set in stone. I started reading Sports Illustrated, ravenous for more background on each nation, athlete, and event. I memorized obscure facts and tried to impress my friends. "You know if Matti Nykanen of Finland wins another gold medal, he will have accomplished a record that no other ski jumper ever has." My friends, of the few that I had, were far less than impressed. It didn't matter. Every night after hell...I mean school...I went to the television and religiously devoured coverage of each sport like gumdrops. A few of the more memorable storylines were:

-Eddie "the Eagle" Edwards. True, Nykanen was the true Olympic champion of the ski jump. But British jumper Eddie Edwards, a man who bore strong resemblance to the little bald guy on "Benny Hill," entered the Games as an amateur to compete for the thrill, not the medal. While Nykanen took a record gold medal, Eddie made an astonishing accomplishment by merely surviving his jumps. As Edwards once said, "First time I got to the top of a ski jump, me bum shriveled like a prune."

-Along the same lines, there was the Jamaican Bobsled Team. The same guys who inspired the film, "Cool Runnings," the same guys who learned to boblsed on a go-kart in a parking lot. Another heartening case of sportsmen who wanted to compete for fun and not necessarily a medal.

-Dan Jansen. You don't get much greater human drama than a speed skater racing to win gold after hearing his dear sister had died. Well, maybe if the skater wipes out well before the finish line in a moment of pathos televised worldwide. Fortunately, Jansen made good on the gold a few years later in Lillehammer.

-While on the subject of speed skating, there was Bonnie Blair. The Soviets and the East Germans were having an Eastern Bloc Party at the top of the medal count. It seemed like America would be lucky to go home with 2 or 3 medals at best. Then a country girl from downstate Illinois came along and struck gold. She went on to become a legend of the sport and lift a nation's spirits for a time.

-The Battle of the Brians. Before Brian Boitano inspired a song for South Park: the Movie, he was a combatant in one of the most evenly matched figure skating face-offs ever. Through a stunning performance, Boitano managed to just barely edge out Canadian Brian Orser in a nail-biter to the finish. But don't feel bad for Orser. He's the coach for Kim Yu-Na. In a way, he finally got his gold last night.

-Willie Gault wants to bobsled. That's right, the veteran of the 85 Chicago Bears fought like crazy to get on the American bobsled team. There were controversies aplenty over his status as a "professional athlete" (this is before they were allowed in the games) and he was not allowed to participate. A minor footnote, but pertinent to the region I was living in.

-Katarina Witt. Yep. Had a monstrous teenage crush on her. I'd be lying if I said she wasn't a big reason I got into the Games and sat with rapt attention during the Ladies Final Program on a Saturday night. She got her second Olympic gold as American Debi Thomas, a formidable rival, bungled her performance. What I really remember about that night however, were Elizabeth Manley of Canada and Midori Ito of Japan; two skaters who really came out of nowhere and turned in strong programs. Manley got silver and Ito set herself up to come back as a medalist in Albertville. It made me realize that anything could happen and that sometimes the impossible is possible.

-Alberto Tomba. Geez, what to say about this guy? An alpine skier from Italy, Tomba "the Atomic Bomba" managed to pick up two gold medals...and made sure that the whole world knew it. Before skiing for his second gold, he called home and told his parents that they "must buy two more TV sets so that they can watch Tomba win three times in parallel." That's right, he calls himself "Tomba" even to his parents. I ended up not liking the guy because he cruised over to the Calgary Saddledome and immediately started mackin' on Katarina Witt. I mean, if not for that chump I might've had a chance. Yeah right.

The 1988 Winter Games came along during a time when I felt like I was drowning. They gave me a place to go, somewhere to escape to, and a marvelous story to think about instead of my own dreary existence. Since then, they seem to pop back up during similar times, almost as a good omen or a dove with a leaf in its mouth. The Games of 2010 are no exception. My wife is out of work, my friends are struggling in a bad economy, my academic future is most uncertain, and loud and dangerous neighbors are just a few degrees of warm weather away. So just as I did all those years ago, I glue myself to the TV and again I escape to Canadian alpine environs. Call it hokey, but it gives me hope. Things turned out ok for me after all those previous Olympics. No reason they shouldn't this time, either.

I hope.

Depressed in the Depression--Snot Factory! Or AT&T What Were You Thinking?

2010-02-18T13:26:00.000-08:00

Folks, do whatever you can to avoid the cold/flu that is going around. I'm telling you, it is a son of a seabiscuit. My nose leaks like a submarine with a screen door, I hear a crackle in my ears every time I swallow, and I'm coughing up things that look like they could stand and walk away on their own. If my body never produces phlegm again, it will be too soon.
I've been vitamin C'd, B'd, D'd, and Zinc-ed. I spent all last weekend doing nothing but staying on the couch and OD'ing on Winter Olympics coverage. Well ok, I probably would have done that anyway. But lest you think this will be an essay on our need for public option healthcare coverage, I'm going to pull a switcheroo. No, this is actually about Madison Avenue's new fascination with heroin. Confused? Just wait!
While flipping channels during the course of my convalescence, I saw an ad for NASCAR on Fox. The commercial used U2's "Bad" as a music bed. "Bad" is a song about heroin addiction. Granted only the instrumental section was used and Edge's guitar riffs are catchy as all hell, but I just found it an odd choice for an ad. Especially for a product as "bang that Bible and keep that gun on your hip" as NASCAR is. But the high strangeness didn't end there.
During the Olympic coverage, I've seen multiple AT&T ads that use Lou Reed's "Perfect Day." Once again, "Perfect Day" is about heroin addiction. The title of the song is somewhat tongue in cheek as the narrator is very much in the depths of depression, suffering both mentally and physically, and far from having a perfect day. "I would have settled for a perfect five minutes" I heard Reed say once in an interview about the song. Evidence of this can be heard in the melancholy bleat at the end that goes, "you're going to reap just what you sow." I heard that last part once in the early runs of the ad, but it has since disappeared from the track. Wonder why?
More to the point, I wonder just what buzzcut, frat boy, go-getter jock, ad exec thought using that song was a good marketing idea? Lou Reed might not be the most popular musician on the face of the Earth, but his following is still strong. I count myself among it. I also can't imagine that any of his listeners don't know what "Perfect Day" is about. Let me tell you, it does not make me want to go out and buy an AT&T service or product. If anything, I remember the seller only to tell other people who committed this colossal Fail.
Still, this might work out to my advantage. Inspired by both my current condition and the corporate world's new affinity for heroin users, I am going to pitch a new ad. To Kleenex, no less. My choice of song will be "All the Young Dudes" by Mott the Hoople. As the music plays, we see quick intercuts of young, all-American boys blowing their snot out into Kleenex. The further we go, the better they feel and the cuter they get. All thanks to Kleenex...and a catchy dirge about the perils of drug use.
What's it matter? Obviously no one knows the song, right?

2010-02-17T11:27:00.001-08:00

Return of the Harlequin--Part One

Who knows if this guy is telling the truth...but it's a creepy germ for a story to evolve from. Lots of bits to harvest for paranormal fiction. Click on the title above for the full text, but in the meantime here's a clip:

" "I get to the top of the stairs and notice that whoever was knocking on the door was walking away toward the alley,” he said. “I can only see this person from the back and my heart utterly sank. I knew immediately what I was looking at.”

It was the Harlequin.

The entity walked away from the door like a bad theater actor. It wore a blonde wig, black winter cap and reddish-pink pants pulled up to the knees revealing unnaturally pale skin. It also wore penny-loafers with no socks and a winter coat with ruffles sewn onto it."

Film Review--Zodiac

2010-02-16T10:44:00.000-08:00

ZODIAC
starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, Chloe Sveginy, John Carroll Lynch, Bob Stephenson, and Jerry Garcia as The Beav.

San Francisco. The 1970s. Terror spreads across the area as a killer named Zodiac murders people and then taunts the police about it in the press. This film follows reporters, police, handwriting experts, and potential victims as they attempt to stop him.

I really like the work of director David Fincher. I have ever since he was doing Madonna videos. But this film seems bereft of his trademark style: moody and noirish atmosphere coupled with wicked twists. Much of this stylistic anemia may be due to the fact that it is supposed to follow the true story of the still-unsolved Zodiac case, thus hamstringing what Fincher can do. That fact may also account for why the movie feels like it goes on 45 minutes longer than it should. In the plus column, the film features a strong cast, not the least of which is the incredible Robert Downey Jr. Also present is that element of "life is stranger than fiction" as the cryptic "you can't catch me" letters of the killer turn him into the best Batman villain ever.
RATING: AIOK (Aaaeeehhh, It's OK)

Depressed in the Depression--Metal Up Your Petunias

2010-02-09T13:44:00.000-08:00

Everyone has addictions. What differs is the degree to which they damage you. Junk food expands your waistline. Smoking kills your lungs. Booze ravages the liver while making you look dumb and feel pukey in the morning. My latest addiction is melting my brain.
Lately, Debbie and I have taken to watching a TV program called "That Metal Show" on VH1 Classics. On said show, host Eddie Trunk updates the music world with news of all things hard rock and heavy metal while debating the merits of various bands/albums with two stand up Jersey jagoffs...er, comedians. Legends and luminaries of the genre often stop by as well.
I started watching it for a lark. A bit of reminiscence. Anyone who knew me from the college days remembers my heavy metal ways; my ubiquitous torn jeans, long hair, black leather jacket, and black concert t-shirt. It was sort of fun to revisit that old music and see what the musicians are up to now. But it didn't stop there. I started recording every episode and watching them in marathon style. My brain cells are dying as we speak.
I stopped listening to metal for numerous reasons, more really than I have room to mention here but I can write a separate piece on that subject should there be interest. Instead, I thought I'd talk a bit about why one may choose to listen to such a thing...and then give the "Jonny Nichols Top 20 Metal Bands" list, a ranking that is iconoclastic, based upon nothing but personal taste, and is oddly without Black Sabbath. Anyway, a rationale for why I'm currently listening to it:

1) I'm burned out on alternative.
2) Hip-hop and rap seem to become more synonymous with crime by the day.
3) A lot of it is ear candy.
4) Life ain't fair. Metal knows that. It is music fueled by hate, rage, and sadness. Anyone with strong feelings of alienation and hopelessness can identify with it. The so-called New Wave of British Heavy Metal from the early 80s (e.g. Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, etc.) was spawned from a Britain ravaged by unemployment and poverty. Metal may be enjoying a bit of a resurgence due to our own harsh economic times.
5) Once the wheat is separated from the chaff, there really is good music to be heard.

On that point, my personal favorites:

20) Led Zeppelin. A recent acquisition of mine. Not sure if you could call them metal, but their sound certainly paved the way for it.
19) AC/DC. No denying the vocals of Bon Scott or the classic nature of "Back In Black." "Highway to Hell" could very well be metal's greatest anthem.
18) Van Halen. Maybe more rock than metal...especially after Eddie discovered keyboards.
17) Ozzy Osbourne. I prefer his early solo stuff to Sabbath. Travesty, I know.
16) Danzig. Just. Plain. Evil.
15) Judas Priest. The twin guitars of Glen Tipton and K.K. Downing. Rob Halford is known as "The Metal God." Don't know if you can still say that since he's released a Christmas album.
14) Skid Row. Harder and rougher than the rest of the "hair band" ilk.
13) Guns 'N Roses. "Appetite for Destruction" is a legend of balls out, self-destructive rock n roll. After that they peter out.
12) Metallica. Legends of the genre. You can stop listening after "And Justice For All..." though.
11) Alice Cooper. Always liked him. Even the poppier stuff.
10) Savatage. Smart thrash, interlaced with a classical music sensibility.
9) Def Leppard. Harmonized voices and great songs. Last heavy record was probably "Pyromania."
8) Motley Crue. Back in the day, my favorites. Surprised they're still alive after all they've done.
7) Dio. Amazing voice. Anybody into Dungeons and Dragons should like this guy. "Mystery!"
6) Type O Negative. Gloomy guys from Brooklyn who get the joke. Intricate melodies.
5) Rob Zombie. Another one who doesn't take himself seriously. Fun stuff.
4) KISS. Total ear candy. Science fiction, monsters, and they even had their own comic book. Killer.
3) Anthrax. A metal band that writes about social issues. And they're a blast live.
2) Queensryche. "Metal for the thinking man." Complex songs, interwoven narratives, and Geoff Tate's incredible voice.
and...
1) Iron Maiden. Harmonized guitars and songs about moments in history and myth. Killer bass playing, raging rhythms, and Bruce Dickinson's "air raid siren" of a voice. Plus, they may get older but each show gets better. UP THE IRONS!

Film review--The Wicker Man

2010-02-02T13:08:00.000-08:00

THE WICKER MAN
starring Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland, Ingrid, Pitt, and Phil Collins as The Beav

A police officer (Woodward) arrives on a Scottish island to investigate the disappearance of a young girl. In time however, he realizes that the people of the island are all members of a pagan cult and that the girl is most likely alive...and being readied as a sacrifice.

Boy, have I been seeing weird films lately. But I don't mind. They tend to broaden one's horizons. If that is indeed the case, my horizons after seeing "The Wicker Man" are about as wide as they're ever going to get. It is a disturbing opus. Not in a violent sort of way, but in ways you might not expect. For example, where are all those musical numbers coming from? What's with the Britt Ekland dance bit in the hotel (not that I minded it)? Why can't I get the Iron Maiden song "The Wicker Man" out of my head now? My God, does that young Edward Woodward look like Phil Collins, so much I expect him to break into "Sussudio" at any moment. And what in the name of Pete is up with Christopher Lee's hair??
In all seriousness, this is probably one of the best tellings of a modern, Lovecraft-type story that you can find. A normal, whitebread guy journeys to an isolated location where the locals are just a bit "off" and begins to learn that there are indeed things mankind was never meant to know. Not sure if I'd see this one again, but I'll give it high marks for innovation.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Film review--I Shot Andy Warhol

2010-02-02T13:07:00.000-08:00

I SHOT ANDY WARHOL
starring Lili Taylor, Jared Harris, Michael Imperiolli, Stephen Dorff, Martha Plimpton, Tahnee Welch, and Bob Dylan as The Beav

The true story of Valerie Solanas (Taylor), a writer and radical feminist during the 1960s. She spends her time authoring a manifesto called SCUM (Society for Cutting Up Men) and a play that she hopes artist Andy Warhol (Harris) will produce. Warhol continues to ignore her and so she shoots him (no spoiler there, chump. Just read the title.)

Andy Warhol was more than an artist. It's a cliche to say that, but it really is true. The effect he has had on both culture and society has yet to be duplicated in any way whatsoever. That is what drew me to see this film, not the story of Solanas as I had never heard of her before. And after seeing the movie, I'm not sure that I know all that much more about her now. Lili Taylor turns in an excellent performance as always, but the film itself shows us little other than how deranged and militantly feminist Solanas was. Part of this lack of depth may be due to the weirdness that swallows most of the film. If this were any other independent feature, I'd accuse it of being weird just for the sake of being weird, feigning an "artsyness" to get it into Sundance or Teluride. But this is a depiction of Warhol's studio The Factory during the 60s and I'm sure that the bizarreness depicted onscreen is just the director being true to life. Along those lines, Jared Harris is outstanding as Warhol, just showing what a horribly underrated actor he is. Indeed, he seems to have a knack for portraying real life people, based on his performance as Warhol here and John Lennon in "The Two of Us."

RATING: AIOK (Aaeeeh, It's OK)

Film review--King of Kong

2010-02-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

KING OF KONG
Documentary

In the 1980s, a man named Billy Mitchell set the world record for the high score on Donkey Kong, arguably the most difficult video game ever devised. But a shy, unassuming middle school teacher is challenging that score. Mind games and manipulations ensue, bringing savage controversy to the subculture of competitive arcade gaming.

This is one of those docs that you'd swear was a mockumentary, something in the style of "Spinal Tap" or "Waiting for Guffman." Each person featured in the unfolding saga seems a characiture perfectly crafted for the screen. Then you realize...they're all real people. Yes, they exist in real life and what is unfolding is not fiction. Scary.
What you have here though is a true story of David versus Goliath; a little guy taking on an oppressive blowhard in a struggle that at times seems nothing less than good versus evil. You just need to see it to believe it.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

2010-01-28T14:21:00.000-08:00

RIP J.D. Salinger

I can't very well have a blog with "books" in the title and not mark this author's passing. Click the headline for the CNN obit.

2010-01-27T11:25:00.000-08:00

ARCHER

If it's by someone who brought us SeaLab, count me in.

Film Review--Righteous Kill

2010-01-27T11:23:00.001-08:00

RIGHTEOUS KILL
starring Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Carla Gugino, Brian Dennehy, John Leguizamo, Donnie Wahlberg, Trilby Glover, 50 Cent, and Barry Williams as The Beav.

Two cops on the edge (De Niro and Pacino) are investigating a series of vigilante killings of criminals who beat the rap. The deeper they go, the more they learn that a man in prison may be innocent and that someone in the NYPD is responsible for the murders.

Filmgoers may have raised the bar a bit high for this one. After all, we've got De Niro AND Pacino acting together. Two legends, both alumni of such pinnacle works as "The Godfather," and both entirely capable of blowing you away with their performances...provided they have a good script. The one for this movie isn't a bad one exactly, it just suffers from a small albeit distracting defect. "Righteous Kill" was interesting to me from a technical standpoint, how the characters are established quickly and then utilized to carry you along on a story that rarely slows down. My one problem with it stems from what all thrillers suffer from these days: the requisite "twist" at the end. I know I've complained of this before, but you might want to go make a sandwich because I'm about to go through it again. As a movie of this type winds down to its final 10 or 15 minutes, I automatically say, "here comes the 'surprise.' Pick whatever the opposite of what you expect to happen and that will be your ending." Sure enough, this film did not disappoint...and that may be what disappointed me if you get my meaning. It's not enough to tell a straightforward, quality story anymore, you have to play card tricks.
RATING: AIOK (Aaeeeehh, It's OK)

2010-01-27T10:51:00.000-08:00

At last, the "Ouija Board Just for Her."

Click the headline for the link.

Depressed in the Depression: an Ode To Haiti

2010-01-26T10:48:00.000-08:00

Bullets whizzing over your head can bring you a new definition of “important.” That is my one, overriding lesson gained from my visit to Haiti nearly 20 years ago. Many things tend to bring me back to my time there, even before all the news coverage of recent and tragic events.

As they say, smell is a great trigger for memories. Burning charcoal always makes me think of Haiti as it is their main fuel source, hence their problem with deforestation. The aroma of pigs takes me back to what I thought I smelled on my first day in Port-Au-Prince. Turns out it was human waste sluiced into the streets. Then there’s the omnipresent summer barbecue. Cooking meat smells no different from burning human flesh. Found that out when someone tried to overthrow the Haitian government and we landed smack in the middle of a warzone, hence the aforementioned bullets. After the initial triggers come memories of showering daily with only 5 cups of water, visiting the sick and the dying in Citi Solei, and people trying to survive on a bowl of rice and a cup of dirty water a day. Yep, it was a nation of inhuman conditions long before the earthquake came along. Which brings me back to the notion of “important.”

If there are three words that rankle me more than any in the English language, more so even than “White Sox win!” it is “could be worse.” It is such an idiotic phrase, used to rationalize yourself out of depression and to fake a positive outlook. I used to have a supervisor whom when I grumbled about doing paperwork would say, “Could be worse. The other department has twice as much to do.” And that means what to me? That’s like drowning with someone and they say, “Could be worse. We could be attacked by sharks.” End result is the same. You’re still dead. As far as I’m concerned, “could be worse” is just placebo. It could always be worse. You could be a nation of extreme debt, poverty, and disease. Then an earthquake can come along.

I think most Americans realize it could be worse. We’re not Darfur. We’re not Ethiopia. We’re not Haiti. Never have been. What I hope people take away from this tragedy is not a sense of “I could be in so much worse shape” but a new understanding of “important.” You see one thing remains emblazoned in my mind about the people of Haiti. I saw people in extreme poverty, but they were always happy. They were always smiling or singing. The electrical grid, such as it is, in Haiti is not powerful enough to light all of Port-Au-Prince. Rolling blackouts happened every night. When power returned to any section of the city, you would hear people erupt in cheers that carried out through the night. Every single time. When it happens here, I’m more likely to grumble, “About time those jackasses got the power back on.” The people I saw were always happy, despite what they lived without.

Right now, the economic downturn is forcing many of us to live without things. After my wife’s layoff, I’m beginning to see how unnecessary many of those things are. Why were they important to me to begin with? Probably the same reason they were for anybody. I was raised in a society whose focal point is “acquire as much wealth as you can” and has an economy that relies on marketing things like clothing lines in a way that you feel as if your life will implode into a black hole if you don’t have them. It’s worked. I feel depressed and unworthy when in the company of the wealthy and the elite, flogging myself for my station in life. The Haitians don’t seem to have that problem. Maybe that’s because they know what “important” means. As we endure our own tough times, I’d like to think that maybe we could all come to know that too.

I’ll start by trying to learn it myself.

2010-01-22T10:10:00.000-08:00

Bid a fond farewell to Conan's Triumph the Insult Comic

It's the Necronomicon, Dad!

2010-01-22T10:08:00.000-08:00

Via Chris

2010-01-20T10:34:00.000-08:00

Born of Hope

From Geeks Are Sexy:

"This 70 minute original drama is set in the time before the War of the Ring and tells the story of the Dúnedain, the Rangers of the North, before the return of the King. Inspired by only a couple of paragraphs written by Tolkien in the appendices of the Lord of the Rings we follow Arathorn and Gilraen, the parents of Aragorn, from their first meeting through a turbulent time in their people’s history."

I just love the idea that an entirely new story can arise out of just a few paragraphs of another writer's text. It's why I continue to study fanfiction.

2010-01-19T11:06:00.000-08:00

Marvel does Shakespeare

Turns out the venerable Jack Kirby was once contracted to do character designs for a production of Julius Caesar. The link above will take you to all the sketches, but I've included one below to whet your appetite.

Film Review--Transsiberian

2010-01-19T11:02:00.000-08:00

TRANSSIBERIAN
starring Woody Harrelson, Emily Mortimer, Ben Kingsley, and Agatha Christie as The Beav.

Attempting to smooth out a rough marriage, a couple (Harrelson and Mortimer) travel from China to Moscow on the Trans-Siberian Railroad in the dead of winter. But when two mysterious travelers join them, it is not long before said couple find themselves enmeshed in a twisty-turny plot involving drug smuggling, rotten Russian cops, and murder.

Imagine if Brian DePalma did "Murder On the Orient Express."
If one needed a primer course on creating a proper thriller, this wouldn't be a bad example to point to. First off, there's the isolated nature of the setting. There are few places in this world that are as desolate as Siberia and the beautiful shots of the lonely landscape ratchet up a sense of tension from the beginning. Plus, our protagonists are Americans traveling in this strange land. If they get into trouble, who can they rely on for help? No one. Speaking of our main characters, Woody Harrelson plays a man who almost seems a riff on his old role from "Cheers;" a friendly but naive hardware store owner from Iowa who is obsessed with trains. Not only is this a refreshing change from the "esoteric at best, crazy at worst" Woody of recent years, but it becomes an ingredient essential to the creation of suspense. Then there are the multitude of zigs, zags, and fakeouts the plot takes on, all of which feel natural (with the possible exception of a bit of deus ex machina towards the end, but I was willing to overlook it.) As a writer who struggles with creating satisfying yet plausible twists, my hat is off to anyone who can do it.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

2010-01-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

Star Wars strippers

Hey, if you're going to waste hundreds of dollars and end up smelling like bad perfume, might as well geek it out, too.

2010-01-06T10:32:00.000-08:00

Urban Fantasy Land

I'm liking this site more and more. Its reviews encompass not only books, but TV and movies as well. Good reading, even if I have to wonder about a few of the titles they consider to be UF (Batman????)
Also looks like they have resources for those who write this sort of thing and are looking for representation.

warning: many reviews ahead

2010-01-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

The combination of the holidays and illness brought on copious and protracted amounts of film viewing. Scroll beneath for my pearls of cinematic wisdom.

Film review--Rambo

2010-01-04T11:39:00.000-08:00

RAMBO
starring Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, and Perez Hilton as The Beav.

John Rambo (Stallone) has left it all behind to live as a boatman in a quiet and remote village in Thailand. A collective of Christian aid workers persuade Rambo to take them up the river into Burma, where people are being persecuted by a sadistic military junta. Rambo gets them there, only to learn days later that they were captured by the regime. Once more, Rambo goes back into the jungle to rescue those left behind...and the bad guys just don't have enough body bags.

When I heard that a fourth "Rambo" movie was being made, I simply could not hold back the roll of my eyes. Weren't the last two enough? How old is Stallone now? However it appears that Sly Stallone is not only cognizant of his age (even though he doesn't look it in this film) but he wanted to take the character of Rambo back to his roots in the novel "First Blood" by David Morell, bringing about concepts that are weightier than I expected.
Rambo must come to terms with himself. He is a special forces soldier, built to kill. He can't just turn that off. It's who he is. "When war is in your blood, killing is as easy as breathing."
There is the bitter pill to swallow that despite our deepest desires for peace and the need to help our fellow man, there will be dark times where evil people can only be dealt with by a machete to the gut. To illustrate that latter point, I am very glad that Stallone chose the dictatorship in Burma (Myanmar) as the opponent and not Bin Laden as was originally proposed way back when. While the movie's portrayal of the military junta may not be an entirely accurate one, it gets the issue of the regime and it's intolerable acts of cruelty out on the table for the world to see. If you want to know more about the atrocities in that little part of the world, go to Amnesty International (amnesty.org) and search "Aung San Suu Kyi."
That aside, this is an edge-of-the-seat action flick. And an intense one at that. In fact, this is probably one of the more realistic depictions of modern warfare that I've seen in a while. A .50 caliber sniper rifle does not place a red splotch on someone's forehead, knocking them over. It vaporizes the entire head. Heavy machine gun fire does not cause someone to plop over and play dead, it rips their body in half. I do not take joy in watching this (well, maybe a little), I simply like the fact that Stallone wanted to show it how it is. Had a good time watching it, but it will probably be my last viewing.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Film review--The Hangover

2010-01-04T11:22:00.000-08:00

THE HANGOVER
starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Justin Bartha, Zach Galifianakis, Heather Graham, Jeffrey Tambor, Ken Jeong, Rachel Harris, and Chuck Barris as The Beav.

A man (Bartha) is about to married. His friends, one (Helms) engaged to an uber-controlling wench (Harris), one with the maturity level of a frat boy (Cooper), and another who doesn't get out much (Galifianakis), abscond with him for the obligatory Vegas bachelor weekend. They awaken one morning in their hotel suite to find they have no memory of the night before, a tiger in their bathroom, and groom-to-be who is missing. It is a race against time to find this friend before the wedding takes place.

I know I'll sound like every other man in America who has seen this movie, but I swear this was based upon me and my friends. I just can't decide if it was modeled on my 2008 trip to Vegas with my college buddies or my trip to Florida in senior year of high school. "Mem-or-ies..."
I fully expected this thing to be on the level of National Lampoon's: lots of toilet humor, naked women, and very little brain. And I was surprised by what I ended up seeing. Yes it's very funny and features people acting quite stupid, but I realized something. It takes great intelligence to achieve such onscreen stupidity and not lose affection for the characters. In fact, the whole thing was smartly executed from start to finish. Is it one of the funniest movies of all time like many are saying? No, but I'll leave you to be the judge. I myself will be content just to enjoy it for the laughs.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Film review--Away We Go

2010-01-04T10:54:00.000-08:00

AWAY WE GO
starring John Krasinski, Maya Rudolph, Catherine O'Hara, Jeff Daniels, Allison Janney, Samantha Prior, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Melanie Lynsky, and Amanda Heard as The Beav.

A young couple (Krasinski, Rudolph) learn that they are expecting their first child. This also when they realize that due to family and financial matters, they are actually free to pick up and move to wherever they would like. A cross-country trek begins as they travel between five different locations, deciding which one they would put down roots in and which friends they want to be around. This prompts an unexpected meditation on just what "home" means.

A solid piece of work from director Sam Mendes, an autuer with a pedigree that's getting more respectable by the year. Don't be put off by the promos that depcit the film as another at-a-snail's-pace indie comedy, you'll actually be shocked by how fast the time goes by and how attached you find yourself becoming to the characters. For as many times as you laugh there are just as many "real life" moments of sobering sadness, including a few that really spoke to me. I may be somewhat biased however, given my current situation. You see, the couple visits Tucson and Madison among their travels, two cities we're considering moving to. Just "shows to go you" that doing these slice-of-life films takes skill to be really meaningful, but when they're done well they have something to say to just about everybody.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Film review--Doom

2010-01-04T10:40:00.000-08:00

DOOM
starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, and Ben Stein as The Beav.

Things have gone all scurflooey at a research base on Mars. Communication with the facility has failed and what little that is getting back to Earth is less than promising. A squad of Marines is deployed to investigate. What they find takes them to the very gates of Hell.

I must say, I am shockingly impressed by this. Oh it's not great or anything, but it far surpassed my expectations. Perhaps that is the problem: I just set the bar too low.
In any event, this picture will be a real treat for fans of the video game, of which I am one. You get real-life treatment of Doom monsters and weapons and even get about 15 minutes worth of a POV camera work that makes you think you're playing the game. So much so that I kept saying "check behind you! Get that armor!" to the TV. Then there is a surprise or two to boot.
Like I said, not highbrow entertainment, but a diverting time for fans of the game. Oh yeah, you get to see Mack from "Predator" make his return, carrying yet another BFG.

RATING: AIOK (Aaeeehh, It's OK)

Film Review--The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms

2010-01-04T10:27:00.000-08:00

THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS
starring Paul Hubschmid, Lee Van Cleef, and Rosa Parks as The Beav.

Atomic testing has ripped a prehistoric monster from its sleep in the Arctic. A scientist (Hubschmid) is the only witness to this beast and of course no one believes him. But when a paleontologist disappears in a diving bell while looking for thing, people start to take the guy seriously. Can the behemoth be stopped before it tramples New York?

Plot-wise, this is all pretty standard 1950s, "Atomic Horror!" b-movie fare. Quality-wise, it's superior to most of its brethren. Part of that is due to the film being based on a Ray Bradbury short story as well as spectacular effects (for the time) by Ray Harryhausen. In fact, you might even skip the movie and watch the DVD extra with the two Rays. It was a real treat to hear them talk about their respective crafts, the making of this film, and their lifelong friendship.

RATING: AIOK (Aaeeeh, It's OK)

Flippin' hysterical

2009-12-30T16:48:00.000-08:00

Depressed in the Depression--Yuletide in London

2009-12-15T11:15:00.000-08:00

It is a well-established fact that those who suffer from depression often have a tough time during the holidays. Suicides spike, people withdraw, and alcohol gets downed for more than just festive reasons. It's not much fun to be told "you need to be happy" when you feel anything but. To see evidence of such melancholy, we need only look to many of the more recent Christmas songs, everything from Elvis' "Blue Christmas" to "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)," and my favorite, Chris Isaak's "Washington Square."
I'm feeling it right now. My recently laid off wife and I just sifted through our stack of medical statements, credit card bills, and the like. She told me how it gnaws at her, how it causes this dull ache to spread from her heart to the rest of her body to know that lack of money will keep her from playing Santa Claus this year the way she likes to for her friends and family, meaning spoiling them with gifts just to see the look on their faces. And that's the least of our worries.
As I always say, we are by no means unique. If anything, we're better off than many. Christmastime does seem to be a period for taking stock and realizing that you're not a political prisoner in Burma, you're not a refugee in Darfur, you're not a single mother working three jobs to keep you and your four kids alive. As Bono howls in "Do They Know It's Christmas," "well tonight thank God it's them instead of you."
To that end, I came across something that helped put things in perspective for me like never before. I don't know why it hit me the way that it did. Maybe it's my affinity for this period of history. Maybe it's the sobering look at what real sacrifice and suffering are. You be the judge.
It is the text of one of the radio reports made by the venerable Edward R. Murrow during the German attack on Britain during World War II. For those of you who may not know, Murrow was the journalist who took on that infamous witchhunter Joe McCarthy as shown in the film "Good Night and Good Luck" and along with Walter Cronkite is probably the greatest to ever practice the trade of journalism. Well before that, Murrow reported from London during the Nazi blitzkrieg, providing America with a close understanding of what it was like over there during those tense few years before we got involved in the war. Day after day, night after night, the German Luftwaffe bombed England relentlessly. Winston Churchill held the nation strong and resolute, the RAF took the skies and met splendidly every single enemy incursion, the people of Britain took the blasts, got knocked down, then got right back up again for more...and Edward R. Murrow deftly chronicled the events as only he could. This was his report Christmas Day, 1940...

"Christmas Day began in London nearly an hour ago. The church bells did not ring at midnight. When they ring again it will be to announce invasion. And if they ring, the British are ready. Tonight, as on every other night, the rooftop watchers are peering out across the fantastic forest of London's chimney pots. The antiaircraft gunners stand ready. And all along the coast of the island, the observers revolve in their reclining chairs, listening for the sound of German planes. The fire fighters and the ambulance drivers are waiting, too. The blackout stretches from Birmingham to Bethlehem, but tonight over Britain the skies are clear.
This is not a merry Christmas in London. I heard that phrase only twice in the last three days."

Film Review--The Dirty Dozen

2009-12-14T10:47:00.000-08:00

THE DIRTY DOZEN
starring Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, Ernest Borgnine, Jim Brown, John Cassavetes, Richard Jaeckel, Telly Savalas, Donald Sutherland, George Kennedy, Clint Walker, and Karl Malden as The Beav.

It's World War II and an army major with a bad attitude is given a new mission. Take 12 convicts, a few of them already condemned to die, and train them for an attack on a French chateau laden with German officers. The men have two choices: succeed, or return to prison and carry out their sentences.

I am glad I finally got to see this one as they just don't make 'em like this anymore. I mean, hey-zeus marimba just look at that cast! The only way it could get any better is if Steve McQueen were on board. It's a solid story with memorable characters, all played out by actors at the top of their game. This film is not a "let's present war as the gory thing it really is" type of opus, nor does it contain any real political objective. And I'm ok with that. It's an action flick that rivals "Predator" for the title of "a 'Steel Magnolias' for men." If I have any criticism, it would be that I would have liked to have seen more of the guys actually on the mission than have the bulk of the film be a lead up to it. Still, an enjoyable experience.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Film Review--Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

2009-12-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS
starring Debbie Gibson, Lorenzo Lamas, Vic Chao, and Tevin Campbell as The Beav

While in a submersible off the coast of Alaska, a marine biologist (Gibson) catches sight of something improbable...but horribly real: a mega shark and a giant octopus frozen in ice. Tests by the US Navy end up releasing these monsters from their icy prison cells, leaving them free to wreak havoc up and down the Pacific rim. A honcho for a nebulous government agency (Lamas) recruits the biologist and other scientists to try to stop these behemoths before it's too late.

Every now and again, you need pain to feel alive. This movie provides it in spades. Yet interestingly enough, the pain rapidly subsides to laughter and you end up enjoying yourself despite it all. Maybe it's desensitization, like a frog in a tub of water where the temperature is slowly raised. "2012" the other week really prepared me for any cinematic suffering that might come my way, so this was nothing. And yet...and yet...this opus may border in genius in its own way.
First of all, there's the cast. I mean, come on! What inspired madman put Debbie Gibson AND Lorenzo Lamas together?? "What are you doing tonight, Jonny?" "Oh nothing, just watching...the girl who sang 'Only In My Dreams' chew the scenery what that guy from 'Renegade' and 'Falcon Crest!!!!'" Does it get any better? By the way, Debbie Gibson growed up real nice, and she apparently has a thing for geeks if the film's love interest is any indication.
Secondly, you have a mega shark AND a giant octopus. Not just that, but a shark that can swim at 500 knots. An octopus that can bring down an oil rig. Shake and serve and you've got classic, Hitchcokian-style suspense that is up there with the best of them.
Last of all, when this film is deconstructed far enough a la the methods of Derrida, we really begin to see that there are political, philosophical, and historical implications here. Where does this begin? Alaska. Home of Sarah Palin. A creature is released from the ice and travels southward to threaten the nation. Who released the sea monsters? US military. Where else do the creatures attack? Japan (yep, we screwed 'em again.) Who will stop at nothing, even nuclear weapons to smite the beasts? US government. Who manipulates nature against itself for selfish ends? US government. It asks many questions. What right do we have to manipulate nature? Where do we get when we do? Is there a place for the human heart living in quiet harmony and dignity with the rest of God's magnificent creation? One ends up giving up as the questions just come full circle back to a mega shark and a giant octopus.
Aw who am I kidding? This movie's mostly for kack. You'll probably void your bowels right after the opening credits.

RATING: SBF (Stupid But Fun)

Film Review--Accepted

2009-12-07T10:44:00.000-08:00

ACCEPTED
starring Justin Long, Jonah Hill, Blake Lively, Lewis Black, Adam Herschman, and Tiger Woods as The Beav.

After being rejected from every college he applied to, a high school senior (Long) gathers his friends to establish their very own college (the South Harmon Institute of Technology) from the ground up. Even though it was only meant to fool parents, the facade works a little too well and college rejects from across the nation show up to enroll. Can this kid keep the college ruse going and still win the girl next door (Lively)?

Superficially, this is your run-of-the-mill teen comedy. Lots of funny gags, gross-out humor, sex jokes, and Justin Long at the top of his game. However, in the midst of all that there are a few high concepts floating around. This film does a great job of skewering the shortcomings of higher academia (of which there are many...and that comes from a guy who's in it), making light of the ridiculous pressures placed on many 17 year-olds, and my favorite: just what is the purpose of a university? Is it to educate you and to help you find your life's passion? Or is it just to get you a job? A question near and dear to my heart.
Funny and somewhat thought-provoking. Think of it as one of those "on a very special 'Growing Pains.' "
RATING: AIOK+ (Aaaeeehh, It's OK Plus)

2009-12-07T10:40:00.000-08:00

Blogging makes child writers happier, more confident

Via geeksaresexy

Peter Carey on Writing

2009-12-02T11:00:00.000-08:00

This essay came to me via e-mail as a NaNoWriMo pep-talk. It is one of the most humbling statements on writing that I have ever read.

"Dear Writer,

Writing is the easiest thing in the world. Anyone can do it. It's like hitting a tennis ball against a wall. It's like swimming. Anyone can learn. You don't have to be the best. You don't need to compete in anything. On the other hand, you may aspire to be a celebrated star.

Like swimming, like playing tennis, there are people writing at all levels. If you just want to amuse yourself writing the weekends, just keep on keeping on. If you want to bash out a novel, you need no more advice than to keep on keeping on.

But if you dream of making something original and beautiful and true, if you imagine seeing your book reviewed, or in the window of a book store, you're in the same position as the ambitious swimmer—you've got a lot of training to do, a lot of muscles to build, a lot of habits to start establishing right now, today.

If you know what these good writing habits are, there's nothing more I can give you. Perhaps you know what I'm going to tell you—you have to write regularly, every day. You have to treat this as the single most important part of your life. You do not need anything as fancy as inspiration, just this steady habit of writing regularly even when you're sick or sad or dull. Nothing must stop you, not even your beloved children. If you have kids you do what Toni Morrison did—write in the hours before they wake. If you wish to be a like the champion who swims for four hours every day of the year, you will need extraordinary will. You either have this or you don't, but you won't know unless you try .

Let's say you (quietly, secretly) want to be a genius. Then you must teach yourself to be self-critical. Trust me—your own uncertain opinions are worth one hundred times more than the judgments of your friends. Your friends love you and are may be very smart. But they cannot imagine what you have not yet imagined. So don't show them stuff you fear may not be right.

If you feel at all unhappy with your work, there is a good reason for it. Trust your judgment. Write the draft again, and again. This is the strength you must build—to work alone, in solitude, and write and rewrite and rewrite. Even when you finally succeed in making the original work you wished, you will still live with doubt and uncertainty. All writers learn to live with this. In this way you and I feel exactly the same about our work today.

If you ever read one of my books I hope you'll think it looks so easy. In fact, I wrote those chapters 20 times over, and over, and over, and that if you want to write at a good level, you'll have to do that too.

That is the first half of the good habits you must develop.

Here's the second half.

First, turn off your television. The television is your enemy. It will stop you doing what you wish to do. If you wish to watch TV, you do not want to be a serious writer, which is fine.

But if you do pull that plug you've just created time for that exercise which is going to build up your writing muscles like nothing else. It's called reading. Perhaps you are already reading good books for several hours a day, in which case you don't need me to preach at you. Forgive me. I only mention this because I have met an extraordinary number of beginners who don't think they need to read anything too much.

I don't doubt these people enjoy their writing, and perhaps they will even get to publish something. But you can not play the top game without reading every day. There are so many extraordinary books waiting for you, some writing by living writers, the majority by those a long time dead. This is not because writers used to be better than they are now, but because a lot of generations have come before us and we would be crazy not to know what miracles they achieved.

Some of the great books are about people with lives just like you. Some will have characters you can 'identify' with, but some of the very greatest will tell stories you could never have imagined, were written in languages you cannot speak, and tell the stories of people like none we have ever known.

Now you've killed the TV, you should invest in a very good dictionary.

I know it is a major drag to stop reading and look up a word in a dictionary, but it is less of a drag than continuing to read not knowing what the story really means. No-one wants to do it. I never want to do it, but it is always worth the trouble. In my own case I often write the new word down, not because I am stupid, but because it helps me remember it.

So what books should you read if your greatest aim is to lift your game.

Clearly "Goose Bumps" is not going to help you in your ambitions, but where to start, where to continue the adventure you're already on?

I'd suggest a wonderful new book by Francine Prose, "Reading Like a Writer."

Go buy this now. You may already be a disciplined, talented original writer but you will not be sorry to read this for two hours tomorrow.

-Peter Carey"

Film Review--"2012"

2009-11-30T10:16:00.001-08:00

2012
starring John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Woody Harrelson, Thandie Newton, Chiewetel, Ejiofor, Oliver Platt, Danny Glover, George Segal, Jason McHattie, and Irwin Allen as The Beav.

In 2009, a geologist (Ejiofor) travels to India to meet with a colleague. This man has grave news for our big blue marble called Earth. Solar flares have released waves of neutrinos that have superheated the earth's core, kicking into motion geologic events that will bring about the end of the world as we know it. The scientist crashes a swanky affair at the White House to break the news to the President (Glover)'s Chief of Staff (Platt) that it's the end of the world as we know it. At the following G8 summit, world leaders develop a plan to ensure the survival of a handful of the human race via 6 massive arks to be constructed in the Himalayas. To be brought on board, you must either have exceptional skills or be very rich. The story that unfolds is that of a few common folks, struggling to survive the doom that came to Earth.

There are things in this world that suck. A few of them are literal: black holes, whirpools, vacuum cleaners, Jenna Jameson. Others are painful, as in the "man, that sucks" category of things: getting laid off, losing a house, being told you have cancer, the death of someone you care for. And then there's "2012." This film falls into another category of suck altogether. This is the kind of thing at which you mutter out "oh man this sucks!" while chuckling endlessly...which is kind of a bad sign when the story's supposed to be about the end of the world.
What went wrong? Well, where to start. Although I have many scientifically-minded friends (you know who you are), I'll leave out all the gaps in logic and accuracy (the ash cone from Yellowstone would not reach as far south as Las Vegas nor as far east as D.C., even if "pole shift" could actually work, the South Pole would not be in Wisconsin, et. al.) I don't need them as there so much other succulently bad material to draw upon. First, there is Emmerich's hopelessly naive thoughts on how people would respond to such an occurrence. Second, there's the fact that I really didn't care what happened to any of these people. Third, utter predictability. Want to know who's going to die? Just watch the characters acting like turds. They'll get their comeuppance. Emmerich is obviously a big believer in karma...or he knows exactly which side his muffin is buttered on and wants to create a simple audience-pleaser.
What were the pluses? Well, John Cusack turned in a strong performance, but he's always good. The film never bored me as it never really seemed to slow down. Most of all, it was just fun to laugh at. Might have to do a double feature one day of this and "The Day After Tomorrow."

RATING: MWTS? (Man, What's That Stench?)

2009-11-25T09:53:00.000-08:00

For thriller writers, China is the new USSR

Really liked this article from the NYT.

And as an example of such books, check out Typhoon.

2009-11-06T10:16:00.000-08:00

Depressed in the Depression: Dr. Bouncetown Skips Town

So right now there's a bloody Force Five hurricane blowing about healthcare reform. Not surprised. Been a long time coming.
One of the main areas of concern for me in this whole "watching them make the sausage" process is treatment for people like me who have depression. Now this may sound partisan, but I fear that a Republican healthcare bill's provision for such services would probably read something like this: "It's all in your head. Get over it. Just work harder."

In a way, they're right.
It is all in the head. Depression is caused by the neuroreceptors in the brain and how chemicals such as serotonin are regulated. When this regulation is off kilter, the emotions are affected. That makes it a legitimate medical situation and not just a case of "I feel kinda sad today." This is the sort of thing that leads to suicides, folks.
So what's it like having it? On the best days, I'd have to liken it to having an uninvited houseguest. This guest comes into your home (in this case your brain), stretches out on the couch, doesn't do much except for maybe flip through an issue of Maxim while giving apathetic smirks, and offers constant commentary. The audio track goes something like this and you have to imagine it in the worst nasally accent you can think of: "There is nothing you can do. Did you really think you were ever good enough at anything? If you did you were wrong. Pray for death...it really can't be any worse than this." I swear folks, if I could get on an organ donor waiting list for a new head, I'd do it.

So here is where personal accountability actually does come into the picture. If you see your doctor, they can prescribe medications to help regulate the chemical imbalances. I'm not gonna lie, there are those that work better than others and they often take weeks before you start seeing any benefit. Alas, it's what medical science has for us at the time. The other component is to...well...see a shrink. That brings us to the title.

When I finally tossed my hands up and went looking for a counselor a few months ago, my HMO gave me a choice of three that were on my "plan." One was 40 miles away in Indiana, one was two towns over in a practice that sounded like a mime troupe, and one was around the corner from my house. As much as I...tolerate mime, I called the nearby practice to set up an appointment.
In giving directions to his office, the psych counselor gave this landmark: "Do you know where the Bouncetown is?" Indeed I did know where the Bouncetown was. It was next door to the Hostess distribution center. This raised all kinds of questions.

Was the guy going to meet me at the door, dressed as an atrocious Pixar character, telling me to "take your shoes off before going into the bouncey balls"? Or would it be Twinkie the Kid? Or better yet, one of the other, lesser remembered characters from the 1970s. Like the Ho-Ho Archer, the ship captain Ding Dong, or Fruit Pie the Magician. That I could get behind.

In truth, the counselor looked more like Wolfman Jack than any of the Hostess mascots. He was personable enough, asked about what brought me in to see him, listened to me talk about the things that were bothering me, such as a dearth of better jobs available. "Check the Federal government," he told me with a thinly disguised groan. "If there's one sector that's going to have job growth, it's there." The comment struck me as odd, seemingly lacking in neutrality, but I let it slide past me. The man's concrete recommendations for how I could pull myself back up were good and I decided to stick with him. In doing that, he earned a new moniker between my wife and me: "Dr. Bouncetown."

"Are you seeing Dr. Bouncetown this week?" "Did you make a new appointment with Dr. Bouncetown?" "Hmmm, maybe you should call Dr. Bouncetown about that."

I went to sessions with Dr. Bouncetown about once every other week. He continued to offer solid advice without any of the New Age, touchy-feely platitudes that you run the risk of getting with most social workers or psych counselors (at least in my experience). But it never failed to surprise me how for at least a brief stretch in each session, he would head off in a digression I had not expected. Here's a few examples: "Of course the banks were going to give their executives bonuses with the bailout money. What did he think they were going to do?" "They're wanting a universal healthcare system like Europe while the countries over there are saying 'No! Don't do it!" "The fundamentals of the economy really are strong." (that one took me quite off guard since I had asked a question about why I keep thinking I'm the reincarnation of the Marquis de Saade and I'm just paying up now. Weird.) And my favorite, "Why are there all these restrictions on buying guns when I can go into a Dick's Sporting Goods and buy a crossbow that hits harder than any gun with little or no background check?"

The crossbow got me thinking. Not about buying a crossbow (although that might be cool), but what exactly it was that Dr. Bouncetown was trying to tell me? Was I being fed short snippets of conservative propaganda? Was he part of some kind of recruitment drive? Does he get a free toaster for every five new enlistees he brings to the GOP? It was nothing I could prove, but again, I didn't let it get to me. I still made return appointments.

That is, until he stopped returning my calls. Multiple times I tried scheduling a new appointment. An equal amount of times he did not call back. Dr. Bouncetown was a busy guy with many clients and a large family. I needed to chill and eventually I'd hear from him.

About month went by and I really started to wonder if I offended him. I tried to do a mental checklist: did I shower each day I went to session? Of course. Did I swear or call him names? Don't think so. Does he know I voted for Obama? Didn't see that question on the profile form. Whatever it was, my counselor was starting to give me a complex. The day came, however, when I did get in touch with him about a new appointment.
"Yeah, sorry I can't. I'm in Ohio," he said.
"Ok, well call me when you get back," I replied.
"No, I moved to Ohio. I no longer have that practice in your area."

Dr. Bouncetown had skipped town.

Not a word to me about it. Just took off, like a thief in the night. Hell, the Indianapolis Colts didn't get smuggled out of Baltimore half as sneakily as this guy ditched me.
Was I that screwy? Was he that intimidated by the task of straightening me out? I started to picture him in his driveway, loading baggage onto the rooftop rack of his mini van in the middle of the night. "Come on, honey! Pack our shit! He'll never find us if we move now!"

Whatever his reason, the result is the same for me. Next time depression is really driving knitting needles into my brain, I have to start all over again with a new clinical professional. Someone who doesn't know me, my history, or even have a chart in front of them to use as a roadmap.
I don't know if Obamacare is the answer. I really don't. I just know we need something beyond what we have, something more sensible. After all, it gets frustrating changing providers everytime a Bouncetown skips town.

2009-11-06T10:06:00.000-08:00

RIP Lonnie Zamora

A witness to one of the most well-documented UFO cases has passed on. May he at last know the truth. Click headline for the link.

Film Review--National Treasure: Book of Secrets

2009-10-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS
starring Nicolas Cage, Justin Bartha, Jon Voight, Ed Harris, Helen Mirren, Harvey Keitel, Bruce Greenwood, and Mickey Flippin' Mouse as The Beav.

A treasure hunter (Harris) has found a missing page from the diary of John Wilkes Booth that shows the way to a lost city of gold. But this guy has evil intentions, so it's up to our hero (Cage) with his wacky sidekick (Bartha) and his divorced parents (Voight and Mirren) to stop the bad guy.

I can't remember when I've seen so much sugarcoated pap. I knew I was in for trouble when I saw the Disney logo super up in the beginning, but I had no idea it would be like this. Two hours of my life I'll never get back. Good thing I started cooking dinner and vacuuming the floor while it was on.
What's wrong with it? Plenty. The plot is utterly implausible. Now as a thriller writer, I know there's a few things you have to skate around and take with a grain of salt, but the suspension of disbelief needed for this film requires steel cables. Then there is the utter waste of an A-list cast that is capable of doing incredible work. Might as well have turned them all into animated characters from their stupid fucking Pixar studio because that's what they were hamstrung into being. I mean, come on! Ed Harris was totally emasculated in this piece of tripe! He and his men had the aim of stormtroopers. But then I guess that fits with the Disney paradigm of "don't worry. Nobody could ever really get hurt doing this kind of thing." Then there's Disney at their finest: racist, ignorant, and whitewashed and softsoaped with so-called patriotism. What language is that? It's Native American. Oh that explains it. What? How about asking which tribe? Which dialect? There were HUNDREDS! Oh but that's ok, we're Disney: we're white, we're conservative, we're on top of the world so we make the rules. In fact, let's take what's a perversion of an Aztec city and place it under South Dakota (I really don't care if I spoiled this for you), a good thousand or so miles away from where it should be. That makes all kinds of sense. Holy hell, have I mentioned lately how much I hate Disney? Whitebread, limp-wristed, make-a-buck...

RATING: MWTS (Man, What's That Stench?)

2009-10-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

RIP Mac Tonnies

Always said to hear of an investigator's death.

2009-10-23T10:19:00.000-07:00

Librarians won't give "porn book" to child

Via Dreamer

2009-10-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

New from Michael Chabon

From the genius that brought us The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay is a new collection of essays called Manhood for Amateurs.

The title alone gets my attention, not to mention the pedigree of the author.

2009-10-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

Season of the Witch: Wow, this could suck

"Here's an elevator pitch for you - imagine a fantasy horror film set in Medieval Europe, make it a cross between Con Air meets the Name of the Rose, and then add two of the same actors from said films, Ron Perlman and Nicolas Cage. Make your own mind up. Here's the first trailer for you, from Season of the Witch."

A Few Friends of Jonnicholsbooks

2009-10-21T11:09:00.000-07:00

Been meaning to help my fellow bloggers out. I think it's about time I did that.

RPG Reviews

If you are an old school, RP gamer...meaning you roll dice, use pencils and paper, perhaps a miniature or two...head over to Dreamer's blog and share your thoughts/praises/bashes on any games you've tried lately. Or even not-so-lately.

My Dinner With Cobra Commander

Do yourself a favor and enjoy the literary stylings of Bernard J. Sell. It's free, you lucky chumps!

The Season of Horror

2009-10-19T10:46:00.000-07:00

I just don't know what to think of Halloween anymore.
In childhood, it was my favorite holiday. It was what I later came to call, "the holiday of imagination." Not simply because you could pretend to be whoever you wanted to be, but for the fact this holiday depends on storytelling more than any other. This is the time of year when ghost stories are most likely to be told. This is when the old black and white Universal monster movies are shown in ten hour blocks (heaven!) and not just on Svengoolie. This is when TV programs that have a "news magazine" format devote time to investigations of "true" instances of the paranormal (gotta remember folks, "Ghost Hunters" wasn't always on the air.) And of course there is the sweet, creamy taste of candy corn.
In my days of ripped jeans and a black leather jacket, it was an excuse to thrust a devil horn sign into the air and look like the Antichrist, thereby scaring both yuppies and potential antagonists away. Thankfully, that didn't last long.
Then I got older. Then I bought a house. Then I had to be concerned with vandalism and the fact that Halloween is in many ways just a holiday for criminals, causing people to be scared in their own homes. Oh sure, vandalism is no big deal. Nothing that we should lock the offenders in prison and let them get gangraped in the showers for. I disagree, but we won't got there this time.

So when October rolls around, I try to hold on to the little scraps of Halloween that I can still enjoy: the storytelling. In keeping with that, here are a few short stories I've been writing this month...

"Under My Skin"
Frank, Dean, and Sammy confront servants of the entity Dagon in the desert outside of Vegas during the 1950s. A Lovecraft pastiche done Rat Pack style.

"The Other Side of Silence"
A reality TV show a la "Ghost Hunters" or "Destination Truth" happens upon more than they bargained for. One of their crew members, a young kid with a dodgy past, is driven to the point of murder/slash suicide by the spirits of a haunting and its up to an old investigator named Luther Essicks to try to make things right.

"If I Had a Hammer"
A twentysomething punk named Dalton is told he has inherited a fortune from old family in Britain. When he goes to claim the inheritance, he finds that collection is totally dependent upon his aptitude at the old line of family work: monster hunting. "Uncles" Christopher (Lee) and Peter (Cushing) are constantly dismayed by the lad's performance while remaing gay as the day is long. It's chaos and camp on the British moors. Special thanks to George for the idea and extra points to anyone who knows why I gave it that title.

Film Review--Gone Baby Gone

2009-10-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

GONE BABY GONE
starring Casey Affleck, Morgan Freeman, Michelle Monaghan, Ed Harris, John Ashton, Amy Ryan, and Demond Wilson as The Beav.

A Boston PI (Affleck) investigates the disappearance of a little girl. While he has no experience with missing children cases, he does have extensive contacts in the underworld. The case leads him through a maze of drug dealers, gang bangers, and pedophiles. By the end of the ride he is chewed up...and left with a moral decision that could haunt him the rest of his life.

I tend to keep coming across these kinds of films; movies that take you to such a dark and ugly place that you nearly turn it off halfway through. I mean, I used to think that Boston would be a nice place to live but forget it!
Seriously, I'm glad that I did not abandon this film and stuck with it to the end. Not because I enjoyed it. While it was quite suspenseful, I personally find it hard to enjoy a film that deals with child abuse and molestation. What I really liked was the question that it asked at the end. It was a deep one and one with no clear answer. Just like life. For that alone, this film needs to be rewarded...even though I never want to see it again. And for a directorial debut, Ben Affleck did a solid job. Oh and check out the performance of Amy Ryan (Holly from "The Office") as a crack whore of a mother. You'd never guess it was her.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Film Review--No Country for Old Men

2009-10-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
starring Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, Kelly MacDonald, and Demond Wilson as The Beav.

A welder (Brolin) who lives in rural Texas comes across the remains of a drug deal gone bad. In the carnage is a case with two million dollars inside. He takes the money...and earns the relentless pursuit of a madman (Bardem). As the bodies mount, a local sheriff (Jones) investigates the case and grows more and more wearisome with what the world has become.

I'm a big fan of the Coen brothers. Their films have a knack for taking ordinary people and placing them in extraordinary situations, all while asking a few big questions along the way. While there is plenty of blood, fire, and hate in the film, there is also love and characters you won't soon forget. Chief among them is Javier Bardem's portrayal of Anton Chigurh, a character destined to be remembered as one of film's most alluring psychopaths.
It's a rough ride and full of gutsy, unpredictable turns. It's quality is undeniable, but I'll be ok if I enver see it again. Was it worth the Best Picture award? Well, I'll let you be the judge of that.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Film Review--Stardust

2009-10-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

STARDUST
starring Charlie Cox, Claire Daines, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert DeNiro, Ricky Gervais, Sienna Miller, Ian McKellan, and Demond Wilson as The Beav.

A town in the English countryside borders a wall that leads to another realm called Stormhold. A young man (Cox) travels to this world to capture the embodiment of a fallen star (Daines) so that he might give it to a spoiled girl (Miller) who does not appreciate him. But three witches also seek the star so that they can eat her heart and become young again.
I watched this due to the fact that it's based on a novel by Neil Gaiman, one of my favorite writers. It did not disappoint. It abounds with Gaiman's tight writing, simplistic fairy tale optimism (that's a good thing), and dark, menacing undertones (ditto). In fact, "Stardust" makes a nice bookend to "The Princess Bride" in that both have similar romantic, feel-good endings and idiosyncratic characters, such as DeNiro's protrayal of the cross-dressing sky pirate, Captain Shakespeare that make the film memorable. We can only hope that "Stardust" attains the same "cult classic" status as "The Princess Bride."

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

2009-10-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

DC's Thriller

A fan site for a comics series from the mid-80s that I've always heard about but never read. Just from the overview, it looks like one of the more ambitious undertakings in comicdom.
That should have been rewarded.

2009-09-29T12:50:00.001-07:00

What's the point of robbery if nothing is worth taking

Film Review--The Last Dragon

2009-09-19T16:42:00.000-07:00

THE LAST DRAGON
starring Taimak, Vanity, Mike Starr, Faith Prince, Keisha Knight, and India.Arie as The Beav

A martial artist (Taimak) who seeks the path of enlightenment, eats popcorn with chopsticks, and would really rather not fight if given the chance, must face down The Shogun of Harlem and show the "gangsta" his kung fu is no good.

Kids, let me tell you about the 80s. Reagan was in charge. We were white, we were right, we were on top of the world with no worries. Sure, that pesky U2 was trying to bring sincerity and social awareness to pop music, but we could at least fight them off until Live Aid. African American artists seldom if ever wrote songs about "capping asses," "drinkin' 40s," or "bitches, tricks, and ho's," as evidence by the inclusion of El Debarge's "Rhythm of the Night" in this opus. The clothes were bright, angular, and smile-inducing. Hair was teased high with gallons of hairspray, granting the look of a mane as opposed to a "head of hair." Women wore giant hoop earrings, high heels with pointed toes, and...I'm just going to stop now before I get all worked up.
Amidst all of this comes "a new joint" by Berry Gordy, an "exploitation film" that took advantage of the short-lived, seldom-known, African American martial arts craze. I haven't checked to see if the line of "Berry Gordon Productions" was mutlifold or just this one. Somehow, I have a feeling this opus stands alone. Really, really alone.
Yeah, it's bad. But it has a few good points. For one, the main character of Leroy is rather endearing. It has Vanity, right after her time with Prince, just before her time with Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, and a few years before she found God and lived out the rest of her days praying for the souls of those two men (Don't get your hopes up, fellas. It's a PG-13 film and she doesn't get naked. Not even a quick boob shot.) Also, the film provides a bevy of "spot the semi-star" surprises for 80s experts...
"Is that William H. Macy in that awful breakdance jacket? Is that Chazz Palimentari as a street tough? Holy shit is that fucking Rudy from "The Cosby Show?" Is that the kid from "Sidekicks?" The one who starred opposite Gil Gerrard, TV's Buck Rogers?

I have horribly wasted my life.

Anyway, viewing cheese, especially 80s cheese, is a bit like drinking alcohol. The more you watch, the higher your tolerance becomes. Therefore, I can say this about "The Last Dragon:"

It's not as bad as "Universal Soldier."
It's not as bad as "Bloodthirst: Legend of the Chupacabra."
It's not as bad as "Boa vs. Python."
It's not as bad as "Critters."
But I guess this is all a bit like saying "Moe was the smartest of the Stooges."
So if you want 80s cheese, stick with "Red Dawn."

RATING: SBF (Stupid But Fun)

2009-09-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

Warner Brothers dissolves DC Comics, establishes "DC Entertainment."

Yep. Time for the "keeping up with the Joneses." Head over to Dreamer's blog. His "R&D" comment is a sobering prediction and right-on given what we have in the PR.
Everyone's asking questions about what this means for new movies, what this means for TV, and what it means for video games.
Um, anybody here interested in comics? Didn't think so. We're looking at the future here...and I'm not too sure I like it.

2009-09-09T13:28:00.000-07:00

Hang on, folks.

Whole lotta movie reviews ahead.

Film Review--Invasion USA

2009-09-09T13:14:00.000-07:00

INVASION USA
starring no one I've ever heard of except for Ronald Reagan and J. Edgar Hoover taking turns as The Beav

Five people meet in a bar in New York City as international tensions are high. All have their oppositions to various government programs to bolster military defense. They're soon second-guessing those traitorous views as bombs begin to drop and godless Commies invade.

First of all, this is NOT the Chuck Norris film of 1986...but something so much better!
Oh wow, I haven't laughed this hard at a movie in I-don't-know-how-long. This is all thinly veiled, conservative propaganda from the 1950s that rolls old stock footage for battle sequences. Ed Wood would have blushed with admiration! And what an intriguing strategy for a brief era where there were no ballistic missiles and every nuke would have to be dropped by bomber. Hit Alaska first, take the airfields, then make your way south into the Pacific Northwest and beyond (Commie bastards nuked Hoover Dam!)
However melodramatic, however fueled by Republican paranoia, however far-fetched, I'll say this: I was entertained start to finish. On those grounds, it beats most Merchant/Ivory films, most films starring Emma Thompson, and anything ever puked out by Pixar. This is a delightful snapshot of the "Atomic!" era and may one day belong in my collection.

RATING: SBF (Stupid But Fun)

Film Review--30 Days of Night

2009-09-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

30 DAYS OF NIGHT
starring Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Danny Huston, and Count Chocula as The Beav.

Every year, the town of Barrow, Alaska is plunged into 30 straight days of dark. During one of these stretches, Eben (Hartnett), the town's sheriff, discovers odd bits of destruction going on. Acts of property damage such as burned cell phones and smashed generators. This is but a prelude to a swarm of vampires that attack the town under the cover of the unending night. Eben and his estranged, fire marshal wife (George) must fight to save the town from certain doom.

What we have onscreen here is a perfect alignment of components for a horror/thriller. A cop with baggage, a growing mystery, a confined location, and an onslaught of the walking dead. What's more, the vampires are not suave, "I never drink wine" types, but ugly, cruel, downright evil things.
So why doesn't it entirely work for me? Maybe because they believe in the heavy-handed approach to foreshadowing ("take a good long shot on Eben using his inhaler because we need to broadcast loudly how his asthma will factor in later.") Maybe because this is really just a "Night of the Living Dead" movie with vampires instead of zombies (but they are vampires who have surprisingly zombie-like tendencies) and I'm really bored with zombies. Or it could be that it degenerates quickly into the predictable "bloody slasher" and "high action" type of horror that is so much in vogue these days. That's fine with me as I'm not the fan of horror that I used to be. Real life is sufficiently scary enough, thanks.
All in all, not bad...but not great either.

RATING: AIOK (Aaeeeeehhh, It's OK)

Film Review--The Notorious Bettie Page

2009-09-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

THE NOTORIOUS BETTIE PAGE
starring Gretchen Mol, Chris Bauer, Jared Hess, Lili Taylor, and Hugh Hefner as The Beav.

A biopic examining the life of legendary pin-up model Bettie Page, from her youth in Tennessee where she has an abusive father, gang rape as a teenager, and a brief marriage, to her move to New York City where she takes acting classes and gets into modeling. Her reputation as a model grows, especially for doing photo sets featuring bondage and domination. This unfortunately lands her in the midst of an obscenity case on Capitol Hill.

I love Bettie Page. She was a classic beauty who combined raw sexuality with childlike fun and innocence. But while I feel I gleaned more information about her from the film (especially about the unfortunate and disgusting things she was made to endure in her hicktown days), I came away with the sense that it only scratched the surface. I know that there is only so much you can do within the genre of film, but I can't escape the feeling that much was ignored. It is the same intuition I had after viewing "The Rat Pack," which coincidentally, was also an HBO Pictures production. Still, the film is worth a look. It speaks to many of the legal matters of our time regarding communications and free speech (or the limitations thereon) and it is a fine testimony to the talent of Bettie Page.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

Film Review--Milk

2009-09-09T12:19:00.000-07:00

MILK
starring Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, and Fred Schneider as The Beav.

Organized as a patchwork of flashbacks, this film is a narrative of the life of Harvey Milk (Penn), a man who moved from New York City to San Francisco in the 1970s to open a camera store. Of course he ends up accomplishing much more than that, becoming one of the nation's first openly gay city government officials. His organization of grassroots movements to bring about gay rights, his contentious relationship with other city officials, and ultimately his murder (sorry folks, it's historical fact and not like I'm giving anything away) all play out onscreen.

Sean Penn is one of those rare actors who can become anyone. And I do mean anyone. His winning of the Academy Award for this role was well-deserved (even though I would have liked to have seen Frank Langella win something for "Frost/Nixon") and Josh Brolin is certainly no slouch, either. This film is well-worth viewing, not only for the showcase of great performances, but the much-needed telling of the story of Harvey Milk, a man who dared mighty feats so that others might live better.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darned Good)

2009-08-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

Disney buys Marvel Comics for $4 billion

Just one more reason to not read Marvel.

Depressed in the Depression, part 14 Now it's personal

2009-08-28T10:41:00.000-07:00

"Now It's Personal"
or
"I'd Like My Imagination Land Back, Please"

So everything has finally hit me where I live. My wife was laid off from her job yesterday. With me being a writer, she was forced to be bread winner of the family, so in effect, we were all laid off.
This has, of course, sent me into a dreary, dismal, stomach-exploding funk. Still, the surreal nature of the matter has caused me to think in ways hitherto unknown to me.

For example, how do the unemployed sleep? Last night, I was unable to drift off to slumber for obvious reasons. What I normally do when bouts of insomnia hit me is drink the matter to death. Yep, there's no case of sleeplessness that can't be defeated by sufficient amounts of beer, bourbon, or scotch (or if need be, all three. What do you want? I'm a writer.) Yet in my current situation, with my gastritis acting up and the contents of my stomach feeling like one big bucket of acid, consuming alcohol would have been far from a wise choice. No, that delicious sting on my tongue would have to wait for improved gastrointestinal relations...not to mention finances.

So I turned to a sort of daydreaming that I came up with long ago. It's a technique I crafted for myself from the mid teen years when I needed somewhere to escape to. I would lie in my bed, just as I did last night, and survey my bedroom. The room would then begin to take on a life of its own, almost like looking at a topographical map of somewhere else on the globe...or another world altogether. A desk would be a plateau. A spread of books on the floor a city. From this situated location, storylines would emerge in my head, mostly involving Walter Mitty-ish scenarios of adolescent wish fulfillment. Last night, all this happened for me again. This time however, there was an intruder. Behold...

At the foot of our bed there is an open space between a chest of drawers on one side and a vanity on the other. In this gulf is...well, just a whole lot of shit. Suitcases, dog pillows, dog toys, and piles of clothes meant to be donated to Goodwill but somehow never make it there. In my mind's eye, that landscape became a series of gullies and craggily ravines amidst sawtooth mountain peaks that only the bravest of Sherpas would climb.
It was into that rocky mess that my B-2 bomber crashed. Me and my co-pilot J.Z. Tripp were brought down by unknown forces while we attempted to ferry recovered alien technology through parts unknown. Any way you looked at it, this couldn't be good for us.
"Yo, Cochise! Dis be messed up!" Tripp says to me as he surveys the deslotate cracks in the earth and our still-smoking, black batwing of a wrecked airplane. "Be a kinda nice and quiet place to live, tho."
"Are you kidding me, Lt?" I tell him as I bandage the bloody tear in my flightsuit. "Where would you work? You've got to have an income. I mean, the commute to any job even remotely near here would be insane. I'll grant you one thing, though...the property taxes out here would have to be low."
As I "casted" this dream, I pictured Tone Loc as J.Z. Tripp, Kurt Russell as Duke Goldhammer, our unit commander, and an appearance by September 2008 Penthouse Pet, Kayden Kross.

The door to the bedroom is at an angle off to my right-hand side. Through it you can see the door to the guest room and the half-wall barrier against the abyss that is the stairway. At nighttime though, all you can see is black. The absence of windows creates a dark void that is absolute.
"This is the most ass-weird end of space I've ever seen," I tell my crew.
My ship, the William J. Birnes, is three days out of Altair-6 with a cargo of baby formula that must make to a colony of starving infants (the colony is actually a pilot program to see if abandonment would force great evolutionary leaps. It's not working out so well.)
"It's weird because we're at a near right angle to a black hole," Lt. Ricky tells me from his console. "Who the hell charted this course?!"
"Calm down, Ricky," I order. "We're not getting out of this by playing the blame game."
"You're hot when you take charge," the blonde Ensign Heathermeadows tells me.
"We're going to get this shipment through," I proclaim. "Not for any altruistic reasons with the little squirms, but because we'll lose our jobs otherwise. Loss of jobs means loss of income, loss of income means loss of stability, loss of stability means loss of house, loss of house means a credit rating gone to hell and that just can't happen."
"You're hot when you're all financial," Heathermeadow tells me.
Lt. Ricky screams that the main hatchway gave in. The ship rumbles, the lights flicker, and life support dwindles.
"We're going to make it," I repeat. "But I don't mind admitting, I am totally scared out of my gourd right now."
"You're hot when you're totally scared out of your gourd," Heathermeadow says.
For casting, I see Christian Bale as the quick-tempered Lt. Ricky, and September 2008 Penthouse Pet Kayden Kross as Ensign Heathermeadow.

The piles of one-day-we'll-donate-them clothes are stacked in an irregular manner. This has caused the cloth and fabric to crinkle into a series of nooks and crannies, like the surface of an English muffin charred black. From where I recline, they could easily be caves, caves not unlike those in Afghanistan where I would be strapped to a chair, prisoner of that international broker of terrorism, Rezal Evad Gib.
"I expect honesty from you, Mr. Rogan," he says. ["Rogan" was the secret agent name I came up with for myself during one of the long, aforementioned adolescent musings. For the love of God PLEASE don't ask.] "It will determine whether I kill you quickly or I have Ming work you over first."
The snobbish bastard struts past me in his evening wear, tapping a cigarette against the metallic silver casing of his lighter.
"Where is Renee Sweetbutters?" I ask.
"Your 'Bond girl' is of no concern to you now," he purrs. God I hate him.
"You're not getting the access codes for Camp David," I assert, keeping him busy as I reach for the device on my watch.
"You really think this is about...oh that is most amusing," he tells me. "This is about, debt. Mr. Rogan. This is about an astronomical amount of credit card debt, constituting eyars of overextension and irresponsibility. You are marked with one of the 21st Century's most hideous of scarlet letters. And as the interest compounds and your income declines, your debt-to-earning ratio is rendered irreparable."
Closer to the button on the watch now. Struggling. I've got to try to make it out. Stall for time. Stall for time.
"You expect me to talk?" I ask.
"No, I expect you to file for bankruptcy, Mr. Rogan," he says with a meniacal laugh.
The casting here is Antonio Banderas as Rezal Evad Gib, Bono as head of Q branch, and September 2008 Penthouse Pet Kayden Kross as Renee Sweetbutters.

Yeah. I guess you could say a few things have changed a little since the teen years. But perhaps not all that many.

2009-08-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

Hulk smash puny history

Finally, someone at Marvel explains years and years of Hulk screwiness as if you were a 5 year-old.

2009-08-20T13:21:00.000-07:00

Florida Murder Investigation Reveals Tales of Kinky Sex, Catfights and Batman Comics

via Dreamer

2009-08-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

Truth, Justice, and Superman are ours, you greedy, stinky Siegel Family

The link above is a re-post of a comics op-ed piece via Dreamer.

I understand attachment to fictional characters. Read my review of G.I. Joe and you'll see the mixed feelings I had about the treatment of the characters. Passionate care for someone who isn't real is a hallmark of geekiness. Sadly, emotional responses like that tend to give someone a false sense of ownership and entitlement.
If there are any comic book creators in history who have been more screwed over than Siegel and Shuster, I sure don't know who they are. In my opinion, they are entitled to every little bit of credit and benefit they can get even if in death and not life. Superman is theirs, not ours.

2009-08-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

Disgraced NYT writer now a "life coach."

Oh I get it. Flub up as a writer, become a "consultant."

2009-08-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

Happy belated Duran Duran Appreciation Day to you all!

Film Review--G.I. Joe SPOILERS

2009-08-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA
starring Dennis Quaid, Channing Tatum, Sienna Miller, Christopher Eccleston, Rachel Nichols, Marlon Wayans, Jonathan Price, Arnold Vosloo, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Joe Namath as The Beav

The legendary G.I. Joe team operates out of their secret headquarters in the Sahara Desert of Egypt. With the latest in military and espionage technology at their disposal, they fight against Destro (Eccleston), head of the shifty arms and sales manufacturing entity known as MARS (Military Armament Research Systems) that is secretly in league with Cobra, a burgeoning "ruthless terrorist organization bent on world domination."

As I warned you, spoilers lurk ahead.
I am the world's biggest G.I. Joe fan. No, I don't have all the toys as many of their rubberband insidey parts broke long long ago, and my collection of the Marvel Comics series ends somewhere before #100. But no one cares more for these characters than I do. The G.I. Joe team is almost a second family to me. When I saw the changes made to them for this movie, well...to say I was apprehensive would be understatement. With all that said, I'll break things down for you, bad news first.

THE BAD
1) Crazy relationship changes all over the place.
Duke and the Baroness used to be engaged? Cobra Commander is the Baroness' little brother? Scarlett and Rip-Cord have a thing going? That last one is where I draw the line. Scarlett and Snake-Eyes forever.
2) Snake-Eyes never went to Vietnam, not that we see anyway. He met Storm Shadow when they were both little kids.
3) Snake-Eyes was not disfigured in an accident.
4) Tokenism. There is no reason to change the ethnicity of certain characters as the Joes already have a diverse cast to choose from. Why make Breaker French-Moroccan? Why make Rip-Cord black? Just so Marlon Wayons and be Mr. Cut-up can spout ghetto-speak all over the place? Stalker and Roadblock could have been great choices for African-American characters.
5) Star Wars technology. The Joes were a military team, not a space academy.

THE GOOD
1) Snake-Eyes. 'Nuff said.
2) Snake-Eyes fighting Storm Shadow. Ditto.
3) The G.I. Joe universe coming to life. So great to see characters like Destro, Storm Shadow, and Zartan as "real people." Plus, they at least gave Breaker his bubble gum.
4) An exciting story.
5) The Baroness is hot.

It's not the greatest and not what I had in mind after a 26 year wait, but better than I expected.

RATING: AIOK (Aaaeehhhh, It's OK)

2009-08-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

Strange Adventures Preview on Newsarama

Jim Starlin writing Adam Strange, Captain Comet, and The Weird...almost makes me want to buy comics again.

2009-08-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

The Life and Works of William Shakespeare: the continued argument

Via Scientific American

2009-08-03T13:23:00.001-07:00

Recursive Fiction

Like Yes, I'll Have All the Bananas in my book, Grimoire.
Or The Shaman Always Rings Twice in Ghost Dogg's Maniac Tuba.

Literary devices we didn't even know we used.

Film Review--Frost/Nixon

2009-07-29T11:12:00.000-07:00

FROST/NIXON
starring Frank Langella, Michael Sheen, Kevin Bacon, Oliver Platt, Sam Rockwell, Matthew Macfadyen, Rebecca Hall, and Hunter Thompson as The Beav.

In 1977, disgraced former President Richard M. Nixon (Langella) goes on a series of TV interviews with glitzy entertainment reporter David Frost (Sheen). Nixon sees the interviews as an opportunity to re-establish his presence in politics...and make nearly a million dollars. Frost and his team of researchers see an opportunity to make a serious name for themselves...and try Nixon in the hearing he never had. The cameras roll and the mental chess game is on.

I am sure that Sean Penn delivers a magnificent performance (as he always does) in "Milk," yet I cannot believe him to be any less impressive than Frank Langella as Nixon. Too bad there can't be two Oscar awards for Best Actor.
In addition to truly great performances all around, Frost/Nixon brings three other aspects to the table. One, we get a revealing and probably quite accurate account of who Nixon was. Popular culture usually likes to paint the man with broad brushstrokes as a monster or the worst president ever. This time we see a far more human and infinitely more nuanced portrayal of the man who became synonymous with "Watergate." Secondly, this film could almost (again, almost) be classified as a thriller. It's a race against time. Can the TV team get it together before the final interview and get a confession out of Nixon? Or is he just to wily and formidable opponent? It really is a nail-biter. Third of all, you get an ending that is so delicious and so difficult to pull off well in fiction: you get the resolution you want but end up feeling sad that you have it. Great stuff.

RATING: PDG (Pretty Darn Good)

Film Review--The Rat Pack

2009-07-29T10:58:00.001-07:00

THE RAT PACK
starring Ray Liotta, Joe Mantegna, Don Cheadle, William Petersen, Zeljko Ivanek, and Tucker Carlson as The Beav

Frank Sinatra (Liotta), Dean Martin (Mantegna), and Sammy Davis Jr. (Cheadle) are The Rat Pack, a legendary group of entertainers who become known for their lavish lifestyles and their dealings with John Kennedy (Petersen), Marilyn Monroe, and the Mob.
This film should have been titled "Frank Sinatra and the Kennedys" because that is exactly what you get; hours of Frank trying to get Jack into office and then pleading to be his BFF. In one protracted scene, we get only the brothers Kennedy, Jack and Bobby. That's it. We see very little of Sammy (other than a terse and needed look at his encounters with racism) and Dean might as well not exist. Heck, we end up knowing more about Peter Lawford than we do Dean Martin. Doesn't make much sense to me as The Rat Pack were really only Frank, Dean, and Sammy.
The acting is good, but then there's really no way you're going to go wrong with a cast like this one. Beyond that it's just not what I wanted to see.

RATING: AIOK (Aaeeeeehhh, It's OK)

2009-07-28T10:12:00.001-07:00

Jim Shooter oversees Gold Key titles for Dark Horse

As he did with Valiant Comics. But that means we get characters such as Magnus and Turok back. Much overlooked good news from Comic Con.

Velvet Underground--"Murder Mystery"

2009-07-22T13:41:00.000-07:00

A former professor of mine suggested this song to me. It is indeed one of the wildest and most complex songs I have ever heard.

2009-07-20T12:14:00.000-07:00

RIP Walter Cronkite

Quite simply the greatest journalist ever. He almost made me want to pursue the vocation, to be able to bear witness to history the way that he did.
I know this is late, but it's the first chance I've had to post it.

Depressed in the Depression, part 13

2009-07-20T11:45:00.000-07:00

Cows in a field all stare in the same direction.

It's true. I heard it on 780AM this morning. Two scientists happened to notice that cows invariably do this and the gentlemen decided to find out why.
My gut reaction to hearing this was probably the same as many people's: who cares? Someone got paid to actually study this? While people are being laid off from "real jobs," these two jokers are sitting in a pasture of green, getting paid to look at cows? I hope those two stink of manure when they get home. Did the stimulus money pay for any of this?

Then I realized what a terrible reaction that was.
As I said, it's not an uncommon one. If the story hits conservative radio or TV, I'm sure you'll hear the same commentary. Many of us have that thought at one time or another. Who cares and why are we paying for it? I'm scared of this kind of gut reaction as it seems to be leading towards a smashing of curiosity of any kind...and curiosity is a sign of any higher-thinking organism.
Who cares? Well, let's take a look at what was found about the cows. Turns out, their staring in the same direction has little to do with the cows themselves but whether or not there are power lines adjacent to their grazing pasture. The cows are reacting to the electromagnetic field. Why should that matter? If you eat beef or diary, you might want to know how this is affecting what goes into your body. More than that, cows are mammals just like us. We're rather similar as a matter of fact, as cow's blood has been used as a substitute in transfusions when real human blood wasn't available. If they are being affected by these electromagnetic fields, then what is it doing to us? Those of you who live next to high tension wires might want to think about that.
Or don't think and let "who cares" win. Who cares about going back to the Moon?...even if it has minerals and probably water that could be quite helpful to us in the future. Who cares if the Amazon rain forest is wiped out?...even if all those trees provide a good percentage of the world's oxygen and there could quite probably be a cure for cancer within the biome's flora and fauna. Who cares why the honeybee population is dying out?...even if the bees are needed to pollinate fruit crops on farms that grow what we eat and employ a whole lotta people.
Yes, why be curious about anything if the bottom-line fiscal rewards are not immediately obvious. It's that kind of "greed first" thinking that brought us to this situation and instigated the nation's overall malaise and I am tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired of it. And it's the asking of "what's out there?" and "why is that?" that has allowed us to live any kind of quality life. After all, America as a nation got started because a few Europeans said "hey, what's out there over all that water?" (or the Chinese, or the Egyptians, or any of the other alternative theories. Hell, the indigenous population beat them all.) Science, humanities, art...there's no money in it. So who cares?
Well, we all might soon enough.

2009-07-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

Jack Vance: The Genre Artist
Can someone write about spaceships and aliens and still be considered a great writer?

Though the subheading offended me at first, the article turns out to be really well done.

2009-07-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

A Writer's Habitat

via New York Times